Thank heavens they’re here to tell us these things!

(screenshot via Mediaite)
(screenshot via Mediaite)

What happened to the Hinderberg? Is the Lusitania okay? I haven’t heard from that Donner Party in a while.

Thank the Maker they told us! How many years were they going to keep this hidden? Is this any indication of how long they hope to protract the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 coverage? Because, if so, I can finally get up and grab myself a snack between pings.

I predicted a while back that soon there would not be any more breaking news. We will simply not have room. There will be too many anniversaries of Past News to celebrate. All actual news will be replaced with anniversaries of the times when other news was breaking, footage of unhappy cruise ships, and anniversaries of Big Show Trials.

Which is functionally the same as news.

Maybe this is when it starts. Sure, they changed the chyron quickly. But you never know.

(H/T to Mediaite and @WillMcAvoyACN)

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.