Now that the question of House leadership has been settled, at least for the time being, another equally pressing question rears its head: How do we get Eric Cantor on “Dancing With the Stars”?
Fortunately, someone is on it already. Author and comedian Sara J. Benincasa has started a petition to put the soon-to-be-former House majority leader on the ABC reality dance competition, where, as a public figure at a crossroads (not the Karl Rove kind, the other kind), he rightfully belongs.
Say what you will about me (“That girl will shamelessly cover ANY petition!”), I will shamelessly cover almost any petition, and this one is no exception.
And Benincasa makes some good points: Tom DeLay has been on “Dancing With the Stars” already, and he acquitted himself
well passably adverbially. So was Bristol Palin. Twice!
Furthermore, it’s a fun alternative to many careers that Cantor could pursue. Revolving doors are never fun — you can get trapped in them for hours if you push the wrong way! — and the revolving door between the halls of Congress and the halls of Lobbying is one of the least fun of all. You can’t even get stuck in it. It is moving too quickly.
When life leaves you empty-handed, that is because life wants you to make jazz hands.
The petition has 74 signatures, which seems far too low. Don’t people want to see Eric Cantor tripping the light fantastic on national television? I know I do! Let’s get on this, America, and people from other regions who also get “Dancing With the Stars.”
In conclusion, as the petition states, “This is the most important petition in the history of petitions.” Except for the one to deport Justin Bieber. That one is still the most important.