Yes, I know. Here we are, the United States of America, coming up on two-and-a-half centuries of representational self-government, and things seem to be going so well passably!

But:

He's WALKING in TINY PINK OVERALLS! (Chris Jackson/Getty Images for La Martina)
He’s WALKING in TINY PINK OVERALLS! (Chris Jackson/Getty Images for La Martina)

And also:

Here he is working a festive sweater. (Insert snide comment here about how he already has more hair than his dad.) (Chris Martin/ Getty Images)
Here he is working a festive sweater and throwing some pre-elementary shade. (Chris Martin/Getty Images)
And furthermore:
This photo taken Wednesday, July 2, 2014, and released Monday, July 21, 2014, to mark Prince George’s first birthday, shows Britain’s Prince William and Kate Duchess of Cambridge and the Prince during a visit to the Sensational Butterflies exhibition at the Natural History Museum, London. (John Stillwell, Pool/Associated Press)
This photo was taken during a visit to something called “the Sensational Butterflies exhibition at the Natural History Museum, London.” Sensational butterflies! Prince George will not gaze at common unremarkable butterflies with that expression of wonder and yearning! Only SENSATIONAL butterflies for this prince! (John Stillwell/Associated Press)

(Here he is expounding a bold vision for the future, in tiny overalls again. He loves to wear overalls as much as the ’80s did.)

I think I can rest my case.

Tuesday marked his first birthday.

Look, we still have time to switch out from under the thumb of government of the people, by the people and for the people. Abe Lincoln would be disappointed in us, but has Abe Lincoln seen this cover of Vanity Fair?

(Courtesy Vanity Fair)
(Courtesy Vanity Fair)

What has Congress, the Supreme Court and the president ever done for us? They never dress up in tiny overalls and grasp at butterflies. They wear large, ill-fitting black robes and funny ties. The only time they put on cute, colorful shoes is when they want to filibuster something. Could the president work a red sweater like that? No, I’m sorry, he could not. And when he makes recess appointments, they are the wrong kind, without big plastic slides and swing sets.

No, on balance, I think we’d be much better off with a monarchy, if only for the photo ops.

Sorry, George Washington. This whole “republic” has been a nice ride. But there’s a new George in town, and he can do no wrong. Here is video of him meeting a small mammal and being charmed by it:

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.