The Stephen Strasburg Hot Stuff story has made the rounds today, even inspiring the Junkies to pull a Hot Stuff stunt of their own. But if you ask Michael Morse, Ointment-Gate never happened.

Morse went on SiriusXM Fantasy Sports Radio today and told a story that might just throw a wet blanket on all of the fun.

(Via DCSportsJunkies.com.) I don’t know much about the radio industry, but I know a good gimmick when I hear one, and convincing a Junkies producer to liberally apply Hot Stuff to his private parts and then attempt to throw a baseball was a good gimmick.

Matt Myers — the 106.7 The Fan producer in question, whose stage name is Matt Valdez — agreed to the bit Wednesday morning, explaining that he has a high threshold for pain. The station couldn’t find “Hot Stuff,” which is what Stephen Strasburg used in his now-famous incident, so they subbed in Icy Hot, which is presumably similar.

I don’t have his full on-air comments, because they stretched over several segments, and I forgot my headphones, and I eventually got embarrassed of listening to various euphemisms for and jokes about private parts at a local Starbucks, but here are some of Myers’s comments.

“So,” Hugh Kaufman said Wednesday afternoon outside the Nats Park center field gate, “we’ve got the chicken, the flag, the autographed Davey Johnson baseball. We’ve got the castration knife....”

That was, of course, a misnomer. No one was getting castrated on this day. It was just a bunch of baseball fans, gathered on their lunch breaks or whatnot to cut the head off a rubber chicken.

“This is the first time we’ve done this,” Kaufman pointed out. “I usually sacrifice chickens while we’re having losing streaks.

“He said that with a straight face,” observed Dan, who wisely was going just by his first name for media purposes.

In case you missed it, when he was discussing the team’s rash of injuries on Tuesday, Davey Johnson started this whole thing by mentioning “superstitions to change our luck.”

“Sacrifice a chicken or something,” Johnson joked.

Well, maybe he was joking.

I suppose it’s a pretty widely accepted opinion that there are many things that need fixing in NCAA football, one of them being player compensation. Redskins lineman Kedric Golston, who attended and graduated from the University of Georgia, offered this solution in a conversation with linebacker Lorenzo Alexander on their show Capital Punishment.

“I’ll say this. When I was in school, I didn’t think we should get paid. I figured, whereas we didn’t have the amount of money we wanted and sometimes we had to scrape up dollars to go to Wendy’s and get some cheeseburgers, it was college. But now that I’m out in the real world and see how people are getting filthy rich off the backs of these young men, I think they should get paid.

The Stephen Strasburg post-game Hot Stuff revelation on Tuesday obscured at least several other weird things that happened. There was some sort of pre-game incident involving the guy who was supposed to throw out the first pitch, and there was some poor fielding in the top of the first, and there was also this, via Kilgore:

Things went from bad to weird. The sunny sky opened up and poured rain as Strasburg pitched to John Baker. The count ran full before umpires halted the game. Strasburg had already thrown 33 pitches.

“I mean, the ball was absolutely drenched,” Strasburg said. “I probably could’ve hurt somebody.”

The grounds crew dragged out the tarp, but before they could spread it over the infield the rain stopped. They rolled it back up and off the field. After an eight-minute mini-delay, Strasburg took the mound again.

Problem was, when Strasburg took the mound and got ready to throw, the field umpires weren’t yet ready. So he had to step off the mound, and then try again.

I know, I know, I know, feminine napkins, etc. Still, it was weird. And the batter, John Baker, wound up hitting a two-run single.

(Via Deadspin.)