Back when I used to go to practices and stuff, I spent no small amount of time in the Redskins’ locker room. Most of the lockers were pretty unremarkable in their contents: Bibles and motivational sayings, pictures of babies and wives, bottles of energy drinks and vitamins, jugs of moisturizing lotion, piles of excess cleats, boxes of Smoot Smack candy bars. Stuff like that.

RGIII, though, has a remarkable locker, filled with action figures and the like, from the Incredible Hulk to Spiderman to G.I. Joe. It would make a fantastic visual, no doubt. Unfortunately, still photography in the locker room is prohibited, and the Redskins will not allow video cameras to shoot this colorful shrine.

So, in lieu of images of the quarterback’s entertaining locker, here are images of the defensive linemen’s boring lockers.

Above, please find Barry Cofield’s locker. I’ve highlighted the most interesting thing. It’s a Yankees cap.

(Jim Mone - AP) New Wizard Trevor Ariza was on ESPNLA 710 and admitted that he isn’t too familiar with D.C.

“Never really spent a lot of time there,” said Ariza, who was traded to the Wizards from the Hornets with Emeka Okafor. “But the time I have spent there I’ve enjoyed it, so I’m excited. I’m looking forward to it.”

Ariza won a championship with the Lakers in 2009, but was traded to Houston in the offseason, which meant missing the traditional trip to the White House with his former team.

He is determined to make up for that.

“I’m happy to be going there anyway, ‘cause Obama still owes me a handshake for winning a championship with the Lakers,” he said. “I never got that handshake, so I need that.”

That can easily be remedied with a Wizards championship. I’m just saying.

(ROBERT GALBRAITH - REUTERS) There will come a day when birds chirp, and apples ripen, and kids climb on the school bus, and leaves flaunt their obscene reddish hues, and football players get hurt in real games instead of fake games, and pumpkin beers fill the shelves with the earthy magnetism of nutmeg and cloves, and I will never have to listen to anyone talk about Stephen Strasburg’s Shutdown again.

Until then, hey, look! Tommy John! Talking about Tommy John surgery! Don’t think I’ve gotten his take on this issue before. Course, I haven’t heard Terrmel Sledge’s opinion, either. He probably has an opinion. Lots of people have opinions. Lenn Sakata has got to have an opinion. Putting that on my to-do list right now. That’ll be great.

Wait, where was I? Oh right, same place I always am, sitting at my desk, transcribing an interview about Stephen Strasburg’s Shutdown, while staring blankly into the distance and imaging a life unhinged from ligaments.

So some ESPN Radio host asked Tommy John what factors should go into Mike Rizzo’s decision to shut Strasburg down.

“I would hope the general manager has a degree in orthopedic surgery, or at least kinesiology or physiology, and I don’t think Mike Rizzo has any of that,” Tommy John said. “Here’s the thing, go back, Wikipedia Tommy John and see how many innings I pitched in 1976, my comeback year.”

[Ok, hold on. Wikiiiiiiiiiiii! Wiki Wiki Wiki!]

The Redskins have tightly controlled Robert Griffin III’s media access during preseason, which generally means he speaks with media members twice a week: on Mondays, and after games.

No radio call-in shows, in other words.

But I guess you can’t stop him from calling into the radio-and-Internet show run by his locker neighbor, Adam Carriker. The show in question is called 4th & Pain; it’s Carriker’s passionate look at the world of pro wrestling.

No really.

And last week, the defensive lineman scored what has to be the biggest get in 4th & Pain history when he landed RGIII on the phone asked about his childhood love of pro wrestling.

“I watched a little bit of WCW and WWF, at the time,” Griffin said. “I was a huge Goldberg fan when he had that long winning streak, which I think was ended by Kevin Nash when he was fighting for the title. I was a huge fan of Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold Steve Austin. One of my earliest memories was [Michaels] beating The Rock early in his career, and then Shawn Michaels got beat by Stone Cold, which kind of ended the first part of his career, with that Stone Cold Stunner.”

Considering that I had to Google every word in the previous paragraph, it’s safe to say RGIII knows more about pro wrestling than I do. He told Carriker that he preferred WCW to WWE as a kid, but that he watched both.

Thanks to a great find by Nationals Inquisition, here’s a kid who loves the Nats so much that he has their batting stances committed to memory. He’s pretty good, but his Michael Morse needs more Samurai Cobra Snake.

The kid’s YouTube page aptly describes his purpose.

“Me doing impressions of my favorite team, the Nats. Note, ONLY people who consistently watch the Nationals will find this funny.

“Please help Ryan Zimmerman find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis. Go to ziMSfoundation.org”

A noble cause.