Bryce Harper, conservative hero

1) The Daily Caller on Friday published one of the most absurd combinations of words the English language could create, a random assortment of letters and pixels that somehow started like this:

Bryce Harper is a conservative hero. The star rookie for the Washington Nationals has woken up Major League Baseball, and watching it unfold has reminded me of nothing so much as the collapse of the old political paradigms and the inevitable and upcoming rebirth of conservatism in November....Watching Bryce Harper play is like listening to an economic speech by Paul Ryan: It’s long on reality and short on excuses.

The author — Mark Judge, the grandson of Senators great Joe Judge — also compared Jason Heyward to teacher unions. Then it got worse.

2) The blog Hardball Talk helped bring Judge’s wisdom to baseball fans with a brief item.

“I don’t know if this is worse baseball analysis or political analysis,” Craig Calcaterra wrote, “but it’s all kinds of bad either way.”

3) Ivan Carter went after Judge on SportsTalk Live, calling him a “clown” and an “idiot,” as seen above.

“Let Bryce Harper be Bryce Harper,” Ivan requested. “It was a terribly written article. Your underground racism was garbage too....It was garbage. Leave that alone. Leave Bryce alone. Leave him out of it.”

4) Esquire’s Charles P. Pierce took matters to another level by letting Judge have it, at length. Pierce said Judge’s work was “perhaps the worst piece of writing about American sports since the last time Phil Mushnick saw a kid with his drawers drooping low,” and then took apart every last paragraph.

“Mother of God, there’s something fundamentally dehumanizing in dragooning someone like Bryce Harper into the service of your ideology as though he were nothing more than an action figure in your mental toybox,” Pierce concluded. “To paraphrase a currently popular phrase: clown analysis, bro. Clown analysis.”

5) This means the Nats are nationally relevant, right?

Dan Steinberg writes about all things D.C. sports at the D.C. Sports Bog.

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