Planking, as a fad, should by rights already be on the way out, but it’s had some bizarre resurgence this week, and now I can no longer ignore it. Or, I could ignore it and pursue a Ralph Nader-inspired line of investigative research into the fan experience, but I’d rather just post photos of D.C. sports personalities lying down on random objects.
It started, as so many things do in this market, with the Junkies. Love them or hate them, they are rarely last to pick up on a trend. And so in May, we were treated to images of several Junkies and friends-of-Junkies planking. Here’s John Auville.
And here’s J.P. Flaim.
Then, the field went dormant for a while, but like I said, this week it’s back. The first D.C. sports person I heard of to embrace planking this week was Redskins rookie wide receiver Niles Paul, whose planking escapades were well-chronicled in the Skins Blog. (Also, another Redskins — Robert Henson — has argued that planking relates to slavery and should be beneath black athletes, but this BBC story seems to debunk that pretty well.)
After Dwight Howard got into it, Gilbert Arenas decided he had to one-up his Magic teammate, and so the once-and-always D.C. sports star posted a flurry of planking pics on his Twitter feed. Here, for example, is Gilbert at a toll booth.
And inside a piano. (And if you don’t think Gilbert is still D.C., he posted this message on Thursday night: “the dmv raised me and let me grow..showed me nothing but love even in the dark times...do the same for Jimmy Wall.”)
Speaking of....Hey, it’s John Wall! On a garbage can! This is obviously in the Gallery Place neighborhood, though I can’t place the building. Is it the Hotel Monaco? Or the American Art Museum?
If Wall is the most popular D.C. athlete on Twitter (and by followers, he is), Charlie Davies is third by my count. Here’s Davies, planking at a showing of “Transformers 3.” And yes, Alex Ovechkin is second, and no, I haven’t seen images of him planking on a homemade bed made of 17 Russian supermodels and several dozen Pelmeni, but if you have such an image, by all means pass it along.
Any executives? Sure, here’s D.C. United Senior Vice President for Marketing and Communications Doug Hicks, who no doubt will never speak to me again now that I’ve published this image. If we’re getting front-office types into the deal, who would be a more ridiculous candidate: Ernie Grunfeld, George McPhee or Bruce Allen? The correct answer is Mike Rizzo.
Could not possibly resist. I mean, if I didn’t include this, I should have been fired on the spot.
And then finally, here’s G-Wiz, responding to Wall by planking in front of his locker. And if that doesn’t end this fad, I don’t know what will.