If the NBA Finals are going to be about DeShawn Stevenson and Brendan Haywood losing to LeBron (and Haywood missing open dunks along the way), then really, what better soundtrack could there be than some ridiculous online musings by one Gilbert Arenas.
Yeah, Agent Zero chose Tuesday night for his return to Twitter, after more than a year on the shelf. I first learned of this when JaVale McGee wrote that “Pierre heard some rumors that the reckless gil arenas might have a twitter again...,” and the news was soon confirmed by former Gilbert blogger-in-chief Dave McMenamin, who wrote “Not sure what’s more exciting: A tight 4th quarter in the Finals or Gilbert Arenas coming back to Twitter.”
As it turned out, the 4th quarter wasn’t so tight, so I guess Gilbert wins. His new account is @agentzeroshow, and he crossed the 1,000-follower threshold before the end of day one.
Now, last time he was on Twitter, you might recall, things didn’t end so well. There were nuggets like this: “i wake up this morning and seen i was the new JOHN WAYNE..lmao media is too funny.” And this: “pls dont take what i say serious or i will piss off from time 2 time becuz i dont hav a filter on my jokes” and this “I wanna say sorry if I pissed any body off by us havin fun...I’m sorry for anything u need to blame for for right now..”
But those were bad days, and these are not, and so fine, Gilbert can tell his story about fishing. Since Twitter is a horrible medium for storytelling, I will help.
well ive started a new hobby which is fishin..2 days before i was watchin the news and a kid was fishin a hooked a 5 foot gator. the 9 year old jumped on the ground a held the gator down till help came..(yes he was not blk lol)
so i got excited like shiiii i can fish and catch a gator too...so i bought pole hats gloves etc fishing [stuff] i guess...and went to the lake. well i was the first one there so i had my line in the water and this is when i realize im a coward..
well a fish was close to the edgesplashing water i guess the [fish] was doing the diddy not the dougie..so he as it got close im thinking gator so i dropped the pole and ran and when i realize it was just a fish i ran back and grabbed my pole before it went in the lake i guess doing all that i snapped my line and my boys walked up and i screamed out (yea they biting today i think a gator snapped my line i was trying to fight him but too strong)
i made it so believable..they really thought a gator was in there...so they fixed the line..mind u i have no plans on catching a fish, just liking the idea of fishing so about 3 hours later i hook one...so i didn’t know u suppose to fight with the damn fish for 10 days min
there screaming get him tired...im like [ugh] (he might be thinking the same thing)so he started pullin so i said this has to be a [dang] gator..somebody cut my line quick or go get that 9 year old (none bloke kid) becuz im kinda scared now..
so they started to help me with the [line] and when we finally pulled it out the fish didnt way more then 3 pounds so they started laughn at me and walked away...WTF who’s gonna take the hook out...this fish obviously has gator blood god dammit... i need help here..and the fish strt flapping up and down so i took off
and when i got back..lmaooo..this fish was ready for my pic...damn shame grown ass man scared of fish..(but it did hav gator blood)
Also, he’s rooting for the Mavs, like any normal American.