So this hasn’t been a bad few weeks for Jeff Halpern. Not only did he sign a deal to return to his hometown Caps — the team he formerly captained and an annual Stanley Cup contender — but he also got married. To Kelley Cornwell. Who happens to be a former Redskins cheerleader.
In fact, she and her sister once accompanied future U.S. Senator Al Franken during a USO tour of Iraq and Afghanistan. Franken later wrote about the trip for Mother Jones:
No USO Tour is complete without NFL cheerleaders, and the Redskins sent two, Kelley and Katie Cornwell, whom the troops seemed happier to see than me. As I told the soldiers, “I don’t know how you guys do it for nine months. I’ve been over here a week, and the first thing I’m going to do when I get home is have sex with my wife — while thinking about the cheerleaders. Not so different from you guys, except I won’t be alone.”
Remember that when you guys play the Wild, Mr. Halpern!
(You can see a more recent picture of Ms. Cornwell here, or even here, if you’re so inclined. The above image came from an appearance she did during the 2005 inauguration season. She and her sister also were featured in the family section of the Ultimate Cheerleaders Web site, which will probably make you feel as yucky as it made me feel. Remember when Ralph Nader was inspiring me to reach toward a higher plane of sports journalism?)
As for the wedding itself, it sounds good, if the Facebook page of DJ Leko can be believed.
“Just got in from spinning Jeff Halpern’s wedding in DC,” he wrote. “RIDICULOUS party. He and his new wife are SUPER chill people. We rocked out so hard that we drew a crowd of people dancing outside the venue on the street near the Capitol building. lol.”
(Halpern was on his honeymoon when he signed with the Caps, but I’m sure the intrepid media corps will ask lots of wedding questions when he returns home.)