Also known as the Morgantown Ruby Tuesday. The Morgantown Outback was closed. Boss, open up the expense account, we're hitting the salad bar.

Frankly, the ride up to Morgantown didn't have the sort of dramatics I was looking for. Maryland beat writer Marc Carig fell asleep. Provocative columnist Mike Wise learned that the fine folks at WeMustIgniteThisCouch had posted a response to his column this a.m. He also brought us donuts, plus a bran muffin for himself; "keeps me regular," he said. Then he ate a custard-filled donut, which he called custard heaven; then he decided I should have sampled Italian pastries at the Olympics instead of "that cheese [bad word]." At some point he began singing the theme song from "The Godfather" and expressing his outrage that I've seen neither "The Godfather" nor "Rocky." Then he put The Cars on the stereo and started singing loudly while playing both air guitar and air synthesizer, simultaneously. Then I missed our exit.

En route to lovely Morgantown, we also learned that:

1) Mister Snyder's pornographially titled sports talk radio station barely comes in while I'm driving in Washington, D.C. WTEM Sports Talk 980 comes in crystal clear in Cumberland, MD. Although, when B-Mitch gets going, you sort of wish that it didn't. Apparently Steve Czaban ripped our sports section today, so I'd like to say something obnoxious about him, too, but I can't think of anything right now.

2) Mike Wise would like to buy a country house near a trout stream in Western Maryland. He'd also like to bicycle up the C&O Canal to Cumberland. He also forget to make plans with his dog walker today.

3) I heard from the fine folks who will be the subject of this week's cheese tasting, although that's still a secret. But they were suitably excited, and their cheese will soon be available even more widely in D.C., so you should also be excited.

4) Marc Carig would like to recommend some beer and cheese combinations of his own: Velveeta with Schlitz, or Cheez Whiz with PBR. Either way.

5) Mike told us that a Maryland msg board recently honored him with a thread titled: "Mike Wise is a [bad word]." "You know you've made it with Maryland fans when they start the 'Mike Wise is a [bad word] thread,'" he said.

6) Yes, that's right, Mike has now apparently angered both Maryland and West Virginia fans, meaning we might make a break for Pitt's campus tonight.