Back when I used to go to practices and stuff, I spent no small amount of time in the Redskins’ locker room. Most of the lockers were pretty unremarkable in their contents: Bibles and motivational sayings, pictures of babies and wives, bottles of energy drinks and vitamins, jugs of moisturizing lotion, piles of excess cleats, boxes of Smoot Smack candy bars. Stuff like that.
RGIII, though, has a remarkable locker, filled with action figures and the like, from the Incredible Hulk to Spiderman to G.I. Joe. It would make a fantastic visual, no doubt. Unfortunately, still photography in the locker room is prohibited, and the Redskins will not allow video cameras to shoot this colorful shrine.
So, in lieu of images of the quarterback’s entertaining locker, here are images of the defensive linemen’s boring lockers.
Above, please find Barry Cofield’s locker. I’ve highlighted the most interesting thing. It’s a Yankees cap.
Here’s Chris Baker’s locker. He appears to have a package of Quaker Oats something or other. Good choice. I’ll be 36 years old on Friday, and I still love the Quaker Oats Cinnamon & Spice instant oatmeal. Jeez, 36 years old, and here I am taking screengrabs of football players’ lockers for a living. There’s got to be a better way to make a buck. I’m never going to write the Great American Novel, am I?
Here’s Adam Carriker’s locker. In the background is Robert Griffin III, intentionally glaring into the cameras. I can’t make out much of interest in Carriker’s locker itself, although he appears to have a photograph of his 19th century wilderness-taming great-great-great grandmother Bertha. Hard to tell, really.
And here’s Kedric Golston’s locker. It’s so boring, I had to insert a pretend super-hero action figure. Call him the Incredible Kedric.