1) Washington Post photographer Joel Richardson just arrived at the Post's Morgantown bureau, AKA Ruby Tuesday. We are making a spectacle of ourselves.
2) Mike Wise went after three young kids eating lunch while their mom stepped away.
"How you doing over there Nicole?" he asked to the eldest, Nicole (7). "Just call if you need any help. Who do you like in the game tonight, Nicole, Maryland or West Virginia? [No response] Hey partner, how are you doing tonight?" he asked her younger brother. [No response] "Yeah, I ain't changing your diaper, either," Mike Wise said.
3) Then Mike Wise went after Jamie Baer, a Ruby Tuesday waitress, Fairfax native, Robinson High grad and West Virginia fan. (We told her we work for The Post. "I love your magazine!" she said, although I promised her I wouldn't make fun of her for saying that.) Mike Wise asked her if she had heard of Washington Post columnist Mike Wise, and she said she had.
"He's always making fun of West Virginia fans," Mike said as the entire restaurant started paying attention. "He said freshmen there are named Skeeter and Cletus. I think that's just mean."
Then Jamie told us about being a WVU fan.
"The only problem I have is we light everything on fire after we win," said Jamie, who has a fear of fire. "We're big on fire. We're big on burning things."
"See, I didn't realize there was any other way to get heat out here," Mike Wise said, and the restaurant broke up in laughter.
4) All we've seen so far is Ruby Tuesday, Talbot, Hallmark, Lowe's, etc., but we're now heading to the stadium. The tailgaters, we've been told, have already been out for hours.