Big day in downtown Washington. Apparently the Chili Peppers and Gnarls Barkley are playing the VC tonight. I know this only because when I left Wizards practice, the back hallways smelled like 17 billion ashtrays had just been emptied. And I know for a fact that James Lang doesn't smoke, so I asked a security guard what was happening, and he said there was a Chili Peppers show. I also saw some potted trees and various costumes.
More importantly, the Washington Auto Show is in town, an event that is also known affectionately as the Chesapeake Tide Show. Who are the Chesapeake Tide, you ask? Stupid you. They're only "Washingtons Indoor Football Team," of the 7-on-7 Continental Indoor Football League, an outfit which also includes legendary franchises like the Lehigh Valley Outlawz, the Chicago Slaughter (coached by Steve McMichael!) and the Marion Mayhem. ("Because nothing says 'mayhem' like the greater Central Ohio region.")
The Tide will make a few appearances in the Auto Show's sports-centric celebrity lineup, in the same way Gilbert Arenas will make a few appearances in my blog. The celebrity list includes appearances by the following super celebrities: Richard Petty, Bill Lester, Tide GM Jeff Golas, Tide player Sean Chisley, Clinton Portis, Ladell Betts, Antawn Jamison, the Redskins cheerleaders, Tide player Mike Kelly, Jason Campbell, Chris Cooley, Renaldo Wynn, Tide owner Mark Johnson, Brian Mitchell, Doc Walker, some Hooters Pro Cup drivers, the Black Widow, Tide player Lawrence Hill, Tide player Brian Soler, Caps mascot Slapshot, Wiz mascot G-Wiz, Antwaan Randle El, Darrell Green, Tide owner Marty Johnson, the Tidal Wave Dance Team, Tide player Sammie Jenkins, Tide player Travis Laws, Tide player Chris Russell, the WWE's John Cena, Screech (the "Washington National's Beloved Mascot"), the Tidal Wave Dance Team, NASCAR's Marc Davis (?), Freddy Adu, the Tidal Wave Dance Team, Screech, Tide GM Jeff Golas, Tide Coach Grady Baker, and Tide player Cap Pokelmba.
I only have two problems with the lineup: there are no mentions of the Giant Racing Presidents, and there aren't nearly enough Chesapeake Tide appearances. Like, only bringing out Tide GM Jeff Golas twice? Ridiculous.