As I wrote at great length on Monday, ESPN 980 exclusively carried Robert Griffin III’s first press conference of training camp.
The nearly 30-minute presser took place around 5:30, during a broadcast of the Sports Reporters. And as Reader @CBJinDC pointed out, whether intentionally or unintentionally, Steve Czaban audibly interjected at least twice, complaining of clown questions.
“Robert, serious question here,” WUSA’s Dave Owens said at one point. “Have you upgraded from the Chrysler Pacifica yet, now that you’ve got the contract?”
“THAT’S A CLOWN QUESTION BRO!” Czaban thundered.
“Well, unfortunately my dad sold my Chrysler Pacifica, so I don’t have my college car any more,” Griffin answered. “But I do have a Nissan Armada and an Audi A8, so I didn’t have to spend any money on those. It’s definitely a good deal to have two free cars.”
“Did you have to sing the fight song yet?” another reporter asked later on. (I didn’t recognize the voice.)
“CLOWN QUESTION BRO,” Czaban muttered.
“I have not, other than the pep rally after I got drafted,” Griffin answered.
I kind of like the idea of an ever-present Steve Czaban Voice of God, at every press conference in town, there to judge whether reporters are asking appropriate and/or clown questions.
And as long as I’m writing about a week-old press conference, here’s the oddest quote from that session, which I never mentioned. It came when RGIII was asked about being the face of the franchise.
“I mean, there’s really no true face of the franchise, because if we all just had faces, we’d all be dead,” Griffin said. “So there’s got to be a heart, got to be some legs, some arms, some skin. That’s those guys in there. I guess you could say I’m just the mask. You know, those guys are the real ones that make up the body of this team.”
Bearing in mind that “Face of the Franchise” is probably a dumb term, who said anything about people just having faces? Aren’t a mask and a face basically the same thing, metaphorically? Why do mere faces connote death, but inanimate masks don’t? And who wants the honor of being “the Arms of the Franchise” or “the Skin of the Franchise?” Nick Sundberg? Danny Smith? Is there a Liver of the Franchise? A Gall Bladder of the Franchise? A Toenail of the Franchise? A Body Odor of the Franchise?
Weird, weird answer.