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Posted at 10:31 AM ET, 07/25/2007

The Contents of My Stolen Van

Because I started the story here, I might as well finish it. Blogs are all about personal obsessions, right?

When the story started, my hot hot hot 1996 Dodge Caravan was stolen from outside my house in Northwest, then recovered, all-crashed-up in Northeast, then taken to Maryland, from where it was finally determined that it was not worth fixing, and so this week I was beckoned to collect my belongings, at which point I learned that one of the nice people who had been driving my van since it was stolen decided to leave many of his/her possessions behind, presumably as an apology for that whole theft thing. And so, among the things found inside the van that were not technically mine:


* A maroon purse, containing a Holy Bible. Because you should never drive a stolen vehicle without the comfort of the Scripture.

* An empty bottle of Courvoisier. [Note: I swear, all this is true.]

* An empty bottle of something called, I believe, "Ice Water," although that might be the wrong name. It appeared to be an adult beverage, anyhow.

* Several containers of spray-on hand sanitizer.

* Several containers of nail polish.

* Lots of unused diapers.

* A broken bag from the Suburban Hospital Healthcare System.

* A portable Checkers set, with handy carrying bag.

* A Stevie Wonder CD, in a D12 CD case.

* Six tablets of Sudafed.

* Two empty glasses cases.

* The wrapper from a package of Kool cigarettes.

* A watch.

I've thrown most of the stuff away, but I kept the Bible and the checkers set. Seems wrong to throw away a Bible. And you never really know when a portable checkers set might come in handy.

By  |  10:31 AM ET, 07/25/2007

Categories:  Weirdness

 
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