Sometimes the brilliant prose tells the story, and sometimes the striking art tells the story, and sometimes the headline is pretty much all you need.
Such as in this case. Because, you see, the Orioles held a crab race to determine the order of their fantasy football draft.
I should probably add “apparently” somewhere in this item, because this is all based on an image posted online by Darren O’Day, the Orioles reliever who studied animal biology at Florida and “envisioned fulfilling his life-long dream to become a veterinarian.”
“Thanks to Cravin’ Crabs for providing the athletes for the Orioles fantasy football draft order crab race,” O’Day wrote on Wednesday.
Then he posted the above image, writing that DH Chris Davis “picked the Adrian Peterson of crabs to win first pick. This dude was stiff arming and juking everyone.”
So I feel comfortable saying that the Orioles apparently held a crab race to determine the order of their fantasy football draft, or possibly Darren O’Day was just making a joke.
By the way, before I gave up fantasy football, I proposed and pushed through a new rule: the draft order draft. You still pick little numbers out of a hat, or whatever, but “1” does not mean you pick first. Instead, it means you have the first choice of draft order selection. While No. 1 and No. 2 usually take No. 1 and No. 2, eventually it gets more interesting. And poor No. 12, as it turns out, almost never gets the 12th pick; instead, he (or she) usually winds up picking 9th, 10th or 11th.
Cool story, right? Not as cool as racing crabs, but whatever. By the way, you’ll note that Davis’s winning crab appears to have a “D” on its shell, presumably for “Davis,” or possibly “DH.”