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Posted at 01:45 PM ET, 11/20/2006

Updates on Boswell's Foil, Agent Zero, Funniest Sports Celebrities

1) In case anyone missed this comment from the Bobby Boswell "Guts" thread, we're one step closer to the goal. Here's the comment about "Guts" champion and Young Bobby foil Robin Rexroat:

Ive known Robin for about 15 years now. Yes she is from orlando and she graduated from Boone HS. Last i spoke with her was about 4 years ago and yes was living in Cocoa. Her parents own a small business in orlando that manages rental properties. Rexroat rental or something like that. Yes she was an amazing swimmer in HS but I dont think shes swam at any kind of competitive level since then. Weird what you find on the internet as she and I were very good friends growing up....

I could not possibly explain how happy this makes me, so I won't try.

2) One day, the true and full story of the "Agent Zero" nickname will be told. At this point, I honestly don't know what happened. When I joined the plot this fall, everyone on the tubes of the Internet was already calling Gil "Agent Zero." It would appear that many have attributed the original creation to the Wizznutzz, who presumably took inspiration from either Seinfeld or NewsRadio or both.

Gil seemed never to have heard of the nickname when I first mentioned it to him during training camp, but he almost immediately claimed he'd name his next shoes the Agent Zeroes. Then (or possibly before this point), and other sort-of MSM people started using the term, and Gil dropped it on his NBA blog. At some point, Unsilent Majority, a WZNTZ intern and frequent Bog commenter, sent me a photo of a hoodie he had made that said "Agent Zero" on the front, which I ignored. And then, at Saturday's Cavs game, Gil apparently paid for the crowd to receive 20,000 white t-shirts with "his nickname" on the front, causing WZNTZ to use 49 exclamation marks in one post. The official game notes even mentioned this: "The white t-shirts feature Arenas' nickname on the front, with his name on the back in gold and black lettering," the notes said.

Seriously, "Arenas' nickname?" Within two months, if I'm understanding correctly, "Agent Zero" has crossed over from an admirable creation of blogland to a term worthy of inclusion in games notes describing multi-thousand-item fan giveaways. I was but a bit actor in this ruination of a fine fancy, but I do feel tinges of regret.

Incidentally, I just asked a MSM reporter over at Wizland this AM if the Wizznutzz were actually present at the creation of Agent Zero. "Who are the Wizznutzz?" he asked. Sigh.

Gil promised he'd talk to us after he went into the locker room this afternoon, and then chose never to emerge. "Was unavailable for comment," is the formal way we put that in the industry. But word is that Gil is planning more fan giveaways of some sort this year. Send in your proposals.

3) I also got an e-mail from the producer of the Funniest Sports Celebrity in Washington contest, whose results I so loudly protested late last week. Here's what he writes:

Despite your furor and the impropriety of stealing a scoresheet from a tortilla chip and publishing the results, I respect your opinion. You are the first to be invited back to be a judge in next year's contest. Lindsay scored high on material, originality and stage presence. Stage presence differs greatly from delivery. It is how one carries themself, their composure on stage. I will invite Marc Sterne back next year as well to battle for the title, reminiscent of a Frazier/Ali rematch.
I could not possibly explain how happy this makes me, so I won't try.

By  |  01:45 PM ET, 11/20/2006

Categories:  Weirdness, Weirdness

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