is a must-win, Portis is going full-throttle while jerking reporters' legs, Brunell's job appears safe, and the NYTimes writes about WashingtonPost.com Brunell polls while using big words. (And no, the name "Redskins" isn't offensive at all, why do you ask?)
Cavs are "slip-sliding toward oblivion" and "historically inept," Cavs fans are wearing paper bags over their heads, and the Big East is giving the ACC swirlies. Jagr could miss the opener against the Caps. Plus Tony Kornheiser eats dinner, and our President channels Jimmy V.