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Posted at 08:39 AM ET, 09/25/2006

What You Need to Know, in Fewer Than 200 Words, Monday Morning

Rejoice, Skins people. Your victory was "thorough;" your offense was shredding the Texans; your receivers were involved; your running back doesn't know who's calling the plays; your opponent

was a perfect elixir, turning in "one of the worst defensive performances" in Houston history; your fans are "impatient, testy and generally clueless;" your movie star was a no-show; and your defense was, er, not tested. Plus, your quarterback was no longer a jalopy, "nearly flawless, "almost perfect," and "uncannily sharp" (and bizarrely messianic).

Columnists: Brunell says "shut-up shut-up shut-up" (Sally Jenkins) to the "nattering nabobs of negativism" (Don Banks); the Texans = Florida International (Dan Daly); the Texans seemed to quit (Richard Justice). And ProFootballTalk says ESPN could yank its programming from Mister Snyder (scroll down).

Elsewhere, Maryland's offensive linemen have been spotty, but they definitely won't disappoint this week. Neither will the 'Eers, and Steve Slaton is still in the Heisman hunt. Hokies reflect on their punch in the mouth, Nick Johnson has a titanium rod in his leg, and the local ABA owner becomes the league's president and COO.

And did you hear about Jay Gibbons hitting a foul ball into his wife?

By  |  08:39 AM ET, 09/25/2006

Categories:  What You Need to Know

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