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Posted at 09:17 AM ET, 10/05/2006

What You Need to Know, in Fewer Than 280 Words, Thursday Morning

Trying to decide what the biggest news today is: Borat's cheese video or tonight's Un-Capping.

Regardless, this Caps preview focuses on penalty minutes and special teams, Tarik explains why one superstar like Ovie can't carry a franchise, a previewer says "this is not the year," CapsNut says the team is two years away from the playoffs, the team splits into "pasta" and "steak" camps during road trips and Leonsis pledges to be the "most blog-friendly team" while promising an eventual return to red, white and blue. (Gil was right!)

Forget T.O.; it's LaVar Week. Springs says LaVar never knew the whole defense and the LB coach says LaVar "didn't know anything when he was here" before backpedaling. Gibbs is sorry about the whole LaVar thing and calls him "one of the best athletes" in the NFL. (He also advises you to bet on the Giants.) Al Saunders was "not happy" when Portis benched himself in the fourth quarter, the team's gadget play potential has increased, the Mini Moss Man is still shelved, Rich Tandler says Sunday's game might have been the best-ever at FedEx, and a Redskins lineman says there was "no doubt" they would beat Jacksonville. (They're great at calling coin flips.)

Girardi and Piniella are reportedly at the top of the Nats' list, while Girardi is a "heavyweight" candidate for the Cubs, plus Tejada might switch agents because of bad PR.

How can Va. Tech still be ranked ahead of Ga. Tech? Virginia WR can't go through metal detectors, Maryland might be "the least impressive 3-1 team in the country," and a relentless TK chronicler says it's time for him to "act like he's got a pair."

By  |  09:17 AM ET, 10/05/2006

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