Joe Theismann has been a major American sports figure for about 40 years now, much of it spent in a major American city with a major sports media presence. And yet it wasn’t until this Friday, near as I can tell, that the world learned he once picked up Hoof and Mouth Disease by playing in a CFL game — in front of Olympian John Carlos — that came shortly after a livestock show in Montreal.
I mean, this was one of the weirder things I’ve ever heard in my life. It came, of course, because Theismann was recently named a national spokesperson for Defense Sport Mouthguard Rinse, the first and only product on the market scientifically created to clean and remove dirt and bacteria from the mouthguard without the use of alcohol or sugar. The patent-pending formula has a fresh mint taste and is easy to use before, during and after competition.
And Theismann is a passionate advocate for the product, which is how he came to this magical story.
“First of all, you go back to 1982, I got my teeth knocked out against the Giants because I didn’t wear a mouthguard,” the quarterback told Mike Wise and Holden Kushner on 106.7 The Fan. “And then go all the way back to 1971, when I played for the Toronto Argonauts up in the Canadian Football League. We were playing in Montreal, and they had had a cattle show or a livestock show in the stadium the day before, and I wound up with hoof and mouth disease, a bacterial infection. I’m serious. It’s one of those things that fell through the cracks. On your show, things are revealed that are not revealed anywhere.”
Yeah. Things that maybe should have been best left unrevealed. Wise allowed Theismann to then begin talking about LeBron James’s play, but Kushner — knowing that they had stumbled on serious news here — asked about the Hoof and Mouth thing again.
“It was miserable, I’ll tell you,” Theismann told him. “It was the Autostade in Montreal, and we were playing a game the next day....[Olympian] John Carlos was actually in the stands that day, because they were recruiting him to play with the Alouettes. All the animals had been in, and you get dirt in your mouth, one thing led to the next, and all of this sudden if I drank a glass of water it was like drinking a ball of fire. Finally went to the doctor, I said i don’t know what’s going on, he said you know,I don’t want to say anything, but you’ve got Hoof and Mouth Disease or Trench Mouth. I go oh God, that sounds so disgusting. He says it is, what can I tell you, it is.”
Again, yeah. Wow. Having shared so much, I feel like Theismann deserves another chance to shill for Defense Sport Mouthguard Rinse, the first and only product on the market scientifically created to clean and remove dirt and bacteria from the mouthguard without the use of alcohol or sugar.
“Having had kids and having grandkids play sports now, gosh, it’s so timely,” Theismann said. “It makes so much sense.”