Someone is eventually going to have to go back and collect all the weird moments that have marked this magically delicious Nationals season. Each time you think the weirdest has come and gone, a winged bird of prey swoops down from the sky and seizes a marmot from around third base, dropping the rodent into the field of play where it strikes a batted ball and explodes into several pieces of organ and skin, with the flying liver blinding the umpire and forcing an NFL replacement official to parachute from out of the upper deck to arrive at home plate in time to tackle a runner attempting to score from first on a ground ball.
And if you thought that was weird, on Saturday night Michael Morse hit a grand slam that was called a single and then changed to a grand slam, but the umpires weren’t satisfied, so they sent everyone back to their original places, and after running the bases in reverse Morse then fake swung and hit a fake home run which Bob Carpenter fake called in his real voice.
“There it goes!!” he said, as nothing happened.
“Are you kidding me?” F.P. Santangelo asked.
“Right field, it is deep!!” Carpenter continued, as no ball went into no outfield where it was not watched by any outfielder and no fans threw their hands up in frustration. “SEE. YOU. LATER. Grand Slam, the Nationals are on top by four.”
“That is the greatest thing I’ve EVER seen in my life,” Santangelo said. “I mean, right when you thought you’ve seen everything in a Major League Baseball game, they pressed rewind on the video and Michael Morse went phantom grand slam.”