Let’s be real. Halloween is about candy, so much so that half the kids in my neighborhood who knocked on my door last year didn’t even bother with the farce of a costume, showing up in street clothes and demanding sweets.
For a lot of us, the best part of Halloween night was dumping out our treasure at the end of our trek through the streets and beginning the negotiations for trading. I talked to some of the Redskins about which candy in their bag held the highest trade value.
“I’m not a fan of chocolate at all, like Snickers and stuff. I used to hate getting those types of candy,” said Stephen Bowen, who was clearly every candy trader’s dream. “I always wanted Jolly Ranchers, Sweet Tarts, Starbursts, Skittles. But Sugar Daddies? I hate those. Absolutely terrible. No kid wants to eat pure caramel. It’s like a 1960’s candy.”
I think Bowen sits on the other side of the candy aisle from most of us.
While the opinions on the most coveted candy varied, there was clear loser in the locker room candy discussion.
“Black licorice. Ugh. Licorice or raisins. That stuff is terrible,” said Alfred Morris, who joined multiple players in making disparaging remarks about licorice. Morris went on to say he considers himself a candy aficionado. “I eat a lot of candy. I got candy in my bag right now.”
More than one of the players admitted to not abiding by the one-per-person rule, but Darrel Young was the most egregious offender.
“I like Snickers,” Young said. “I used to be so mad when people would only give me one Snickers. Especially if you leave a whole basket outside the door, I’m taking the whole thing. It’s guaranteed.
“I’m tired of Smarties, man,” he continued. “People give you 30 of them.”
Jordan Pugh heard this and jumped in from the next locker over.
“You’d have Smarties for three or four weeks!” he said. “You’re not lying about that one.”
As for Pugh, he has a different favorite.
“I like Twix, man, that’s what’s up,” he said. “Man, look. I need to blow up so I can get a Twix endorsement. I’ll eat Twix all day.”
Young laughed. “That’s like Marshawn Lynch and Skittles,” he said, referring to Lynch eating the candy during a game. “The next day he had an endorsement.”
Young then told Pugh the story of Niles Paul and his box of Capri Sun.
“Man, I need to step up my Twix game,” he said, shaking his head.