Alex Ovechkin stuck in Northern Virginia traffic

Athletes are just like you and me. They breathe, they eat, they Google themselves, they buy fancy sneakers, and they get stuck in horrific, soul-sucking Northern Virginia traffic. Of course, their cars might look a bit different than ours.

“Not that I stalk Ovie or anything, but here he was on the way to work this morning,” Reader Steve emailed me late last week. “Russian machine may never break, but D.C. traffic can stop him! Do you think he misses his old commute from Arlington yet?”

And now, in related news, I bring you this amazing quote I recently came across in E.J. Applewhite’s seminal 1981 look at the Capital City, Washington Itself: An Informal Guide to the Capital of the United States.

“In an age of oil shortages,” Applewhite wrote, “it is possible that the Capital Beltway may become obsolete before the Metro.”

Hahahahaha.

Let me therefore add this to my list of advice for fledgling sports bloggers: When you come across funny quotes that have nothing to do with sports during playdates near Chef Geoff’s, be sure to scribble them in magic marker on a piece of looseleaf paper and then leave them to clutter your desk for literally six months, just in case any random reader one day sends you a photo with faint relevance to that quote, which you can then use to pad an otherwise thin item to a more respectable length, despite the negative side effects of relentless desk clutter and accusations of obvious post-padding. Also, this will give you more spare time to write your debut novel.

Related: Any book agents want to help with my debut novel, holler at me. Seriously.

So yeah. How about that Northern Virginia traffic?

Dan Steinberg writes about all things D.C. sports at the D.C. Sports Bog.
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