By what strange voodoo did Robert Griffin III become the sort of figure who’s hounded by TMZ, who makes funny faces with Morgan Freeman, who’s written up in real estate blogs, who repeatedly lands on Breitbart.com, who famous chefs compare to paella, and who inspire entire segments on Glenn Beck’s radio program?
This never happened when Jason Campbell was in charge. Life was so much simpler, then. Sure, sometimes Campbell would take his shirt off and stare longingly at dolphins, but I never had to transcribe Glenn Beck interviews, about either Campbell or dolphins.
Such is the price of superstardom, though. And thus, here’s Beck, reacting to news of Griffin’s new home.
“He just bought a new house in Virginia for $2.5 million,” Beck said. “You’re talking about Virginia — $2.5 million — and you’re talking about the quarterback of the Redskins. This guy’s in control….I mean, I don’t have any idea how much he makes, but do you know anybody who’s a sports figure who doesn’t have like a $15 million sprawling mansion with Hooters girls that park his car all the time? The guy’s in control.
“Until I look at it and I realize it says it was on three acres, has five bedrooms and four bathrooms. Now c’mon man. You’re a quarterback. Really? You’re gonna have five bedrooms and four bathrooms? Think of that, four bathrooms. Nine thousand square feet, four bathrooms and five bedrooms. That means at least two [bedrooms] don’t have their own bathroom….
“I mean, three acres in Virginia. Remember, Virginia is not cheap. It’s never been hit by the housing crisis because of the government. So he’s got this house? It must suck. Three acres in Northern Viriginia? I mean, that’s like buying it out of Manhattan. Northern Virginia is like Manhattan. You’re not getting three acres in Northern Virginia. For $2.5 million? I’m surprised it wasn’t $3 million for the acreage….
“I’m looking at the pictures of this — we have to post this — I’m looking at the pictures of this house. It’s got a movie theater in it and everything else. $2.5 million, what is it, on a toxic waste dump? Seriously? It’s in Northern Virginia.”
Sigh. Take me back to the old days, when a big Redskins quarterback story was Jason Campbell riding a roller coaster with Chris Cooley. Or, better yet, John Beck posing with dead animals. John Beck and Jason Campbell could have gone on a double date with a shirtless dolphin and a dead animal and TMZ wouldn’t have cared. Sigh.