“Surrealism, such as I conceive of it, asserts our complete nonconformism clearly enough so that there can be no question of translating it, at the trial of the real world, as evidence for the defense,” Andre Breton wrote in his famous 1924 Manifesto that helped define a movement. “It could, on the contrary, only serve to justify the complete state of distraction which we hope to achieve here below….Surrealism is the ‘invisible ray’ which will one day enable us to win out over our opponents. ‘You are no longer trembling, carcass.’ This summer the roses are blue; the wood is of glass. The earth, draped in its verdant cloak, makes as little impression upon me as a ghost. It is living and ceasing to live which are imaginary solutions. Existence is elsewhere.”
I don’t know about all that, but I can say for absolute certain that in this video that Wizards forward Jan Vesely starred in and apparently helped produce, the roses were blue as all hell, and the wood was made of the clearest glass.
“My paintings are not meant to be tasted,” as Max Ernst wrote, and neither is this video meant to be smelled. It must just be felt. In the tendons. Allow your tendons to rub up against it.
“Recently a criminal organtiztion [sic] known only as ‘The Czechlist’ surfaced in the U.S.,” reads the text at the beginning of the video, which was posted to Vesely’s Twitter and Facebook accounts. “The syndicate operates with one sole purpose. To illegally distribute the identity of Washington Wizards power forward Jan Vesely. They chose the wrong Czech…”
What follows is a madcap adventure, occasionally starring Vesely’s actual body and often starring representations of Vesely’s two-dimensional face, set to the strains of the Beastie Boys, in which someone is distributing Vesely masks, and apparent criminals are wearing them, and apparent detectives are apprehending them, and apparent brains are melting, gently melting into a fondue of sensations, in which trumpet blasts are lovingly spread over soft bread, a brassy aioli that tickles, oh so funny, as it resonates and trembles on top of its yeasty bed.