Sometimes, real life is too painful to look at square in the face.
Sometimes, willfully blinding yourself to reality and instead tethering yourself to some silly diversion is not escapism but survival: your job is boring, your mortgage is under water, your kid won’t stop squirting fruit punch out of the juice box, your commute lasts longer than a feature film, but hey look, baseball!
Hey look, Racing Presidents!
Yes, as the Nationals suffered through possibly their worst weekend of the year, their quintet of presidential merrymakers upped their game yet again. First they won the Golden Matrix IDEA award for best interactive feature, the second time in five years the Rushmores have claimed that title. Here’s the winning video, and here’s a list of all the winners.
Then they tapped into this month’s hottest TV movie buzz by grappling with a Sharknado during Friday night’s race.
Finally, they explored the hint of marital intrigue and family-on-family violence on Sunday, when “Martha Washington” unleashed her feminine charms and the possibility of a water break on front-running Thomas Jefferson, who stopped to flirt and then was blindsided by the Father of the Country as Martha rejoiced. Never did a baseball weekend so clearly demand a mascot-skit in which non-human historical figures enact a wordless drama with a human form dressed in 18th century period clothing.
And if the baseball thing doesn’t turn around soon, maybe the Lerner Nine can just pitch and bat down the first-base line in-between Racing President performances.
BOZ THROWING IN THE TOWEL?
When you’ve lost Thomas Boswell, you know times are dark. “That crash you heard this weekend was the smashing of a specific fantasy — that the Nats were fated, entitled, virtually ensured by dint of self-certified talent to rip off a winning streak before they sank their season,” he writes. Read the full column.
NATS SEASON IN SIX SECONDS
I don’t even know what this slow-motion Gio lip flap was in reference to, but it does seem like an apt summary of the season to date. Via @recordsANDradio.
BRIGHT SPOT OF THE WEEKEND
It’s on a pretty short list, anyhow.
— Stephanie (@stephaniekays) July 20, 2013
BAD FASHION CHOICE OF THE WEEKEND
Nats hat and Dodgers jersey, sir? At least be a front-runner and take off the hat. Unless you’re actually related to the Hairstons, in which case this is brilliant. Via @dcmadness202.
LOMBARDI TROPHIES GOING TO RICHMOND
Via Richmond.com: “Starting July 30, [Science Museum of Virginia] guests will be able to see the three Lombardi trophies celebrating the Washington Redskins’ Super Bowl victories.” You can also throw an out pattern learn about gyroscopic stability as regards to football throwing, Newton’s Laws of Motion, take a sample Wonderlic test, and learn about some of the physical skills that go into football.
WHAT TO WATCH TODAY
The Nats host the Pirates at 7 on MASN. They’re probably going to win by 17, after all this gloom. All TV and radio listings are here.