Two years ago, the Caps played a preseason game in Baltimore. I summarized it like so:
Pre-game ceremony, hoopla, Langway, Hoiles, puck drop, warm, hot, humid, ice, puddles, ice, sloppy, slushy, never again, mush, glare, wet, puddles, ice, goal, sweating, sauna, tropical, ice, hotter than an equatorial pizza oven in hell, sloppy, HOLY COW SOMEONE THREW A CRAB ON THE ICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, warm, hottest building in the Western Hemisphere, giant lakes of water big enough to house worldclass aquariums, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice.
The Caps were back in Baltimore on Tuesday night. There were fewer complaints about the ice. BUT JUST AS MANY CRABS. Near as I can tell.
After Casey Wellman scored for the Caps, someone threw a crab on the ice, in the most Baltimoreish of hockey celebrations. An official scooped it up with a towel. Some crab parts were left behind. The official grabbed those, two. Then he deposited the crab in the penalty box, which seemed like an awfully cruel final resting spot for a crustacean that had done no wrong. Plus, imagine being the guy who’s job it is to open the penalty box door for petty criminals, except this time, it’s to bury a crab.
Things were looking grim, in other words, until Wes Johnson added the best caption for a penalty boxed crab in world history.
“Two minutes,” the PA announcer wrote on Facebook. “Two minutes for Old Bay deliciousness.”
(Thanks to Comcast SportsNet for the video. All horribly stolen from RMNB)