With the federal government listing toward doomsday on Monday, lots of amateur comedians, professional comedians, and actual elected U.S. representatives attempted to find the perfect joke tying the shutdown to D.C. sports teams.
And if you think this is unfortunate, just imagine what we would be facing were the Nationals in the playoffs right now: dozens of maudlin columns about how all the suits should just gather in the Scoreboard Walk, buy a bag of peanuts, and sort out their differences.
Hysteric Democrats claiming the shutdown means the Redskins can’t play next week. #heyitcouldbetrue
— Rep. Steve Stockman (@SteveWorks4You) September 30, 2013
The government shutdown has started. Maybe to fix the situation, we should put the Redskins’ defense in charge. They can’t shut down anyone. — Kurt Weichert (@kurtweichert) October 1, 2013
The Government shut down just so the Nationals wouldn’t feel alone at home this October. — 11 To Go (@kevintbull13) October 1, 2013
The government is shutting down to save itself for next October. They learned from the Nationals. — SportsPickle (@sportspickle) October 1, 2013
If the government is shut down does that mean the Capitals won’t be able to play the Blackhawks? — ChicagoSide (@ChicagoSide) October 1, 2013
Since the government is shut down, do we still have to play the Capitals? — Matt Muntner (@MuntnerDesigns) October 1, 2013
What Washington really needs to shutdown is the Wizards.
— Sean Hammond (@sean_hammond) October 1, 2013
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Kirk Cousins took advantage of a victory bye week Monday to visit a local third-grade classroom.
Paid a visit to Miss Hampton’s 3rd grade class today! pic.twitter.com/bssddzV1nx
— Kirk Cousins (@KirkCousins8) October 1, 2013
QUOTE OF THE DAY
New Caps center Mikhail Grabovski tells Mike Harris his secret strategy.
“Every day of my life,” he said, “I try to be better and better. I tell myself all the time I can be better. I try to work my [butt] off, is that how you say it in English?”
MASCOT TRASH TALKING OF THE DAY
George Washington has some choice words for Jack the Bulldog. As ever, the Colonials seem more concerned about the Hoyas than the reverse.
— George Washington (@GWGeorge) September 30, 2013
THE LOCALS ARE HOMERS, PART I
A quick glance at the preseason Nats predictions gathered by CSN Washington’s Mark Zuckerman strikes a terrible blow against people who accuse local media members of being haters. Of the 11 media members surveyed, none predicted the Nats would finish with fewer than 95 wins, none predicted that Stephen Strasburg would finish outside the top three in NL Cy Young voting, and none predicted that the Nats would miss the playoffs.
THE LOCALS ARE HOMERS, PART II
A quick glance at the weekly Redskins predictions gathered by The Washington Times strikes a terrible blow against people who accuse local media members of being haters. The Times has been surveying 17 local media members about the results of every Redskins game. Thus far, the group has predicted a composite 43-25 record. The Redskins are 1-3.
WHAT TO WATCH TODAY
The Caps get started against the defending Cup champions in Chicago, at 8 on NBC Sports Network. All radio and TV listings are here.