Because Ben Olsen is charismatic and well-known and quotable, and Luis Suarez is famous and controversial and perpetually hungry for human flesh, I can’t avoid quoting D.C. United’s coach about Uruguay’s most famous athletic star who bites people.
Olsen talked to NBC Sports Radio’s Eytan Shander yesterday about broad soccer story lines — the U.S. men’s national team, the popularity of this World Cup, what happens next. It was interesting, and I’ll get to that later. But he also was asked about Suarez’s latest jaw-dropping-and-jaw-opening incident.
“Man,” Olsen said, which is about the best one-word response you could muster. “I’m not sure if I like it or don’t like it. He’s unbelievable. This guy, he’s an animal. I mean, he’s a guy you watch play, and he’s so fun to watch. He plays with such passion, he’s so good, and he’s so effective. But he just can’t get out of his own way with this stuff. I mean, this isn’t a one-time thing. This is, what, three times? He’s had the whole racial situation as well with some of his comments. It just seems like he can’t get out of his own way.
“He’s done for the World Cup,” Olsen went on. “I mean, there’s no way they’re going to let him back in the World Cup. Which is a shame for Uruguay, it really is, because he’s such a huge piece. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s further sanctions going into next year. Who knows, is a lifetime ban out of the question at this point?”
Shander then asked Olsen if he’s ever been bitten.
“My son had a little bit of biting problem a year ago,” Olsen remembered. “It looked like my son.”
But in a game?
“Never in a game,” Olsen said. “No one ever bit me. I don’t even know how I’d respond to a bite, you know what I mean? No one has ever bit me yet, but someone could bite me. A player could bite a coach. It’s not out of the realm of possibility nowadays.”
Players: don’t bite your coaches.