How to retrieve a stolen wallet in 2012:
Tweet a video, entitled “The thief will see this,” to your nearly 3.5 million Twitter followers.
Chad Ochocinco’s awful, horrible, no-good day began when he was unable to lift weights in the New England Patriots’ facility, which, he said, made him angrier “than a mosquito in a room full of mannequins.” He decided to head for an IHOP and discovered that thieves had broken into his rented Cadillac Escalade and stolen, among other things, the wallet from the console. No flapjacks for him.
It wasn’t so much the loss of an iPod that was also pilfered that angered him. Or the money or credit cards. (His mom and girlfriend tweeted offers to fly in with money.) Or the flapjacks deprivation. It was the disappearance of his Starbucks gold card with $220 on it. (There’s a gold card? How have I not earned one of these?)
“I feel like I'm about to tear up,” he said in the video. (Watch it here; it’s rated two earmuffs for strong language.) “... What I'm [angry] about is that these [expletive] took my Starbucks card, not just any Starbucks card, I earned the gold card. Do you know how many coffees I've had to drink and lemon loaves I've had to purchase to get to that gold card?”
It worked. (Of course, it did. He’s Ochocinco. It’s 2012.) The wallet , missing only the gold card, turned up in a Providence, R.I., parking lot — with the informing him in a tweet, to which he replied: “I’m definitely rewarding you and your mom. I truly thank you for this and will make sure u’re taken care of.”
Call it karma, call it Twitter, but even the issue of the missing gold card was resolved quickly, too.
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