Minnesota aquarium trades away octopus named ‘K-Love’ to Cleveland aquarium after Kevin Love, Andrew Wiggins deal


This K-Love only has two arms… (Jesse Johnson/USA TODAY Sports)

Good thing octopi don’t have ears in the same way humans do. Otherwise the ones who live at either Sea Life Minnesota at the Mall of America or the Greater Cleveland Aquarium in Ohio might be extremely confused right now. The two aquariums decided to swap the names of their eight-armed sea creatures to reflect the Kevin Love/Andrew Wiggins NBA trade. Per a Sea Life news release on Monday (via CBS Sports):

SEA LIFE Minnesota at Mall of America has felt the sea of change lately with one of their famous creatures, K-Love the octopus. As the trade breached this weekend, the Aquarium has decided that the name, K-Love, should follow his human counterpart in the trade to Cleveland. The memories Kevin Love has given the Timberwolves will stay in Minnesota, and the octopus will be staying at SEA LIFE Minnesota as well. The K-Love name, however, will be traded to the Greater Cleveland Aquarium to be used for their giant pacific octopus.

But wait, there’s more:

Trading K-Love naming rights will give SEA LIFE Minnesota Aquarium a fresh new start and naming flexibility in the future for its young octopus. In return for the trade, the Greater Cleveland Aquarium will be giving SEA LIFE Minnesota the rights to its Octopus name, Ocho. SEA LIFE Minnesota will most likely drop Ocho for a new name soon that will match Andrew Wiggins, the key piece in the trade. Sqwiggins, Iggy, or A-W are some of the names already being tossed around for SEA LIFE Minnesota’s new athletic octo-playmaker.

If the Sea Life folks don’t go with “Squiggins,” they’re fools! Fools, I say! But I digress …

Back to this news release, it just keeps getting more absurd:

[Minnesota's] octopus will also be working on matching Wiggins’s skill set by practicing epic dunk skills with submerging his food with a 360 degree flair, and enhancing his defense by inking any potential opposition.

The Greater Cleveland Aquarium’s octopus will now be taking on some big responsibilities with the new name. The giant pacific octopus has been at the Aquarium since May, and was initially named Ocho. Armed with a new name and basketball star persona and championship dreams, this eight-armed cephalopod will be working hard to grow into the new role. The new K-Love octopus will be working on suction cup strength for rebounding, his three hearts will help him transition into a three-point threat, and he will focus on his jet propulsion to mirror the across-court passes Kevin Love has made famous over the past few years.

Overall, the trade works well for both Aquariums, and they are excited to join their basketball namesakes in the near future. Each octopus eventually hopes to win the MVC (most valuable creature) award at their respective Aquariums.

Who knew Spongebob Squarepants did PR now? Oh wait, never mind. A human named John Sullwold, of the Minnesota aquarium is behind this. He came up with the idea two weeks ago, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and contacted Joe Prada of Cleveland’s aquarium.

“He loved it,” Sullwold told the Plain Dealer. “It was really fun.”

Prada agrees. He said via the Plain Dealer:

“In general I love sports, and I’ve always been interested in the business of it and trades and rumors, and when it actually happens you feel like a GM for the aquarium and you’re moving around pieces.”

Neither Love nor Wiggins has commented on this very important matter.

Marissa Payne writes for The Early Lead, a fast-breaking sports blog, where she focuses on what she calls the “cultural anthropological” side of sports, aka “mostly the fun stuff.” She is also an avid WWE fan.
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