Bart Simpson may still play a troublemaking 10-year-old scamp on television, but did you know “The Simpsons” star who would be 30-something in real life is now a professional soccer player in Russia? It’s the truth. Per FC Zenit’s official Web site:
FC Zenit and the 20th Century Fox have reached an agreement about Bart Simpson’s transfer to the Blue-White-Sky Blues! The latest addition to the team has already arrived in St. Petersburg, passed his physical, signed his contract and had his first training session this morning with the rest of the team.
He’s even got some new shorts to tell people to eat…
Bart Simpson signs for Zenit. His head can’t be much bigger than most players. pic.twitter.com/Uu3Ju7DNRU…
— Soccer Gods (@soccergods) September 1, 2014
The Zenit announcement goes on to note that Bart (full name apparently “Bartholomew Jo Jo Simpson”) will don No. 87 on his jersey to reflect the year he first appeared on television’s “The Tracey Ullman Show.”
So, what position will Bart play? Mascot, obviously. But revealing that news simply by writing “some dude will now be putting on a Bart Simpson costume at home games now” isn’t as fun as writing this, for example (per Zenit):
The footballer arrived a few days ago at Pulkovo [airport] and went to the club’s office to meet with the general director of Zenit, Maxim Mitrofanov. Bart had his medical exam at the MMC SOGAZ department The Nevsky Corinthia Palace, went to Petrovsky, the new store “Zenit Arena” and then made his way out to Udelny Park. Andre Villas-Boas immediately invited the newcomer to train with the team. … FC Zenit welcomes Bart Simpson to St. Petersburg and wishes him and his family the best in their new family and squad!
Hopefully Springfield is more excited about the beautiful game now than it has been in the past.