[This post has been updated]
Because December isn’t crowded with enough holiday events as it is, the Mayans had to go and run out of calendar pages smack in the middle of the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s triangle, thus requiring publicists and party promoters the world over to come up with another angle for themed celebrations.
But in the event that the Mayans were right and we’re just days from our Dec. 21 oblivion, plenty of local establishments have your final hours covered. We’ll update this list as more “End of Days” events are announced. In the meantime, here’s how the end might come:
• With an ark’s worth of heavy, passed hors d’ouevres: Equinox’s 13th annual winter solstice celebration won’t make you any safer, but you’ll be well fed with crab beignets, crispy duck spring rolls, tuna with nori chips, venison medallions, 24-hour brisket and a boatload of other tastes (with wine) for $100.
• With local beer: If the world is going to end, most beer lovers would want to be somewhere like ChurchKey, where DC Brau’s End of the World party features 10 Brau beers on draft and cask, including two versions of its On the Wings of Armageddon. (One is a cask made with litchi and honey from killer bees.) Doors open at 6 p.m.
• With hints of what’s to come: Wondering what’s in your future, assuming you survive the apocalypse? The W’s rooftop P.O.V. Lounge will have a fortune teller on hand Friday night to provide free readings, while Alain Nu, a master of close-up magic tricks, demonstrates his skills at tables. Entertainment begins at 9 p.m. but because capacity is limited, you might want to arrive earlier.
• With late-night drinks: Pizzeria Paradiso’s End of the World Happy Hour runs from 11 p.m. to midnight on Friday. At the Georgetown and Dupont Circle locations, all “apocalyptic draft beers,” such as Elysian’s Wasteland, Brooklyn’s There Will Be Black and DC Brau’s Embers of the Deceased, will be half-price. In Old Town, the purchase of an apocalyptic draft comes with a free four-inch “hedonistic pizza” topped with five meats, five cheeses and hot cherry peppers.
• In outrageous outfits: Fairfax’s Dogfish Head Alehouse is channeling R.E.M., announcing “It’s the End of the World as We Know It.” Since rare beer won’t be much use when the world ends, they’re tapping 120 Minute IPA and Positive Contact at 10 p.m. and offering food and drink specials all night. Wear an end-of-the-world themed costume for the 10 p.m. costume contest and you could take home some Dogfish Head swag.
• Surrounded by art: In the face of the end of the Mayan calender, local painter Dana Ellyn asked 20 fellow artists to create paintings and sculptures depicting the end of the world. The resulting show, called the ARTpocalypse, opened at the Dunes earlier this month, but there’s no better time to see it than Friday night. The ARTpocalypse countdown, beginning at 7 p.m., is free and features a DJ and a cash bar.
• With a self-evaluation: Whether it’s because of Santa Claus or the end of the world, we’re all keeping track of whether we’ve been naughty or nice. The Black Squirrel welcomes people of both persuasions on Friday. The good can sip from a lineup of Elysian’s Immortal IPA, Dupont’s Avec les Bons Voeux (with best wishes) and other positive brews while snacking on a special menu. The rest of us can indulge on Het Anker’s Lucifer, Delirium Nocturnum and “fiery, hot” burgers all day and night.
• With Canadian beer: Unibroue’s Fin du Monde -- “The End of the World” -- might as well be the official beer of Dec. 21. The Light Horse in Old Town Alexandria will have the strong Canadian ale on tap and will be handing out free T-shirts and glassware while supplies last, though they won’t do you much good if it’s the last night on Earth.
• Drunk: McFadden’s invites you to party like it’s the last night on Earth, spurred on by $5 bombs and $3 Shock Top beers.
• With mezcal: Oyamel is serving a selection of “apocalyptic” cocktails, including “Frozen in Time,” an “edible” margarita with caviar.
• With lobster thermidor: Plume is serving Maine lobster, along with caviar tacos, foie gras and kobe beef on its $85 End of the Mayan Calendar Tasting Menu on Dec. 21 and 22.
• With beef cracklings: Poste’s $180, eight-course End of Days Dinner entree is a fitting way to say, “I don’t have to worry about my cholesterol anymore.”
• With a massive group hug: At midnight (“If we survive!!”) at BYT’s End of the World party.
• With foreboding beers: Rustico Alexandria pours from an End of the World draft list on Dec. 20, including DC Brau’s On the Wings of Armageddon, Left Hand’s Fade to Black and Dogfish Head’s Hellhound on My Ale.
• Face-down in Jack Daniel’s sauce : “With a brand born to celebrate the end of the work week, [T.G.I.] Friday’s felt it had an obligation to pay attention to the prediction and certainly to celebrate the possible end of civilization.”