We like food lists here at the Going Out Guide, and reasonable minds can disagree with any of the “best of”lists we’ve compiled over the years.
So in turn, we’re going to disagree with a list that says Adams Morgan’s Jumbo Slice Pizza is the 12th best pizza in the entire country, as the Daily Meal’s slideshow-list of America’s 35 Best Pizzas does.
To rephrase this, according to the list (which has been out there since September, but only found its way to us yesterday), there are only 11 species in the domestic pizza kingdom that outrank the spongy, sagging pennants served on paper plates with a side of hangover along 18th Street NW (although the link in the gallery points to the Jumbo Slice on U Street).
Here’s how the Daily Meal’s pizzaologists (“a venerable panel of about 20 American chefs, restaurant critics, and pizza authorities”) justify it:
“There’s virtually no structural integrity, and it’s all about the gimmick, but this cheesy, saucy, gigantic slice...”
Cheesy...saucy...why yes, that does meet the minimum requirements for something to sound vaguely pizza-ish.
“...is actually really, really tasty (and no, not just because you’re drunk when you eat it).”
No. It isn’t. It’s bland carb manna that only acts as a regret accelerant when combined with a belly full of Bud Light and SoCo-and-lime shots.
Face it, folks, the jumbo slice has become a local mainstay, and practically one of the city’s iconic foods at this point.”
If you repeat anything enough times, it begins to sound true. Also failing to match the Jumbo Slice standard: Philadelphia’s James Beard Award-winning Osteria (No. 23); Los Angeles’ Mario Batali and Jose Bastianich-backed Pizzeria Mozza (No. 25); and, lo and behold, D.C.’s own 2 Amy’s (No. 32).
Disagreeing about ‘best anything’ is something the Internet does exceptionally well, but as in any quibble, the contenders must first be credible and Jumbo Slice is, well, a limp entry. Then again, maybe the entire purpose of putting Jumbo Slice at No. 12 was to generate controversy and pageviews and blog posts like this one. In which case, mission accomplished.
What do you think? Is Jumbo Slice the best pizza in D.C. and the 12th best in the entire country? Are we just being snobs? Has the world gone mad?
Read more from the Going Out Guide:
• Best pizza in the D.C. area (not included: Jumbo Slice)