Status updates the inaugural “Social Media Butler” will inevitably have to make

(Karen Bleier/Getty Images) (Karen Bleier/Getty Images)

Some say that this inauguration won't be as lavish as the last one. Tell that to the poor "social media butler," whose services are being offered up as part of a $47,000 Madison Hotel package this weekend.

As outlets from the City Paper to the Daily Mail have reported, the butler -- Anchor Media's Victoria Devine -- will be tasked with "chronicl[ing] your Inaugural experience so your friends and family can follow your adventures on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. The Social Media Butler will post on all of your accounts so you don’t have to fumble for your phone to catch that perfect Facebook profile picture!"

What type of updates will the social media butler, heretofore named Jeeves, be required to post for the people who have the money for such an extravagance? Here are a few ideas:

  • "My champagne hand is growing tired."
  • "Cannot believe that my driver can't get past this road closure. Now I have to WALK like TWO BLOCKS. #worstinaugurationever."
  • "RT @Humblebrag RT I've been seated on the VIP inaugural platform for sooo long that my hands are going numb from the cold."
  • "Gonna put the moves on Beau Biden. #YOLO"
  • Twenty Instagrams of the president from very, very far away. "Earlybird" filter.
  • "Hanging out with the president!! #inauguration #elite #fun #amazeballs"
Maura Judkis covers culture, food, and the arts for the Weekend section and Going Out Guide.
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