The best quotes from the New Kids on the Block tour announcement

January 22, 2013

The New Kids on the Block, or NKOTB -- not to be confused with NKOTBSB, how the New Kids/Backstreet Boys supergroup of 2011 must surely forever be known -- will perform at Verizon Center on June 14.

Perhaps looking to tack a few more alphanumerics onto another tour-defining acronym, they'll be joined by Boyz II Men and 98 Degrees on "The Package" tour. Shall we refer to the collective as NKOTB2M98° then? We'll wait for a formal ruling. Until then, enjoy a few canned quotes from the official tour announcement:

“Ladies, we’re coming for you," said Det. Danny Reagan, from the CBS police drama "Blue Bloods." (Are gentlemen eligible to accept said package as well, or just the ladies? This should be cleared up before tickets go on sale Feb. 2.) "We can’t wait to give fans ‘The Package!’” he added.

"'The Package' is on its way, and we’re going to deliver,” said Wanya Morris, 39, of Boyz II Men, most definitely one of the men on the Boyz-Men continuum at this point. “We plan on bringing it," concurred fellow Man Nate Morris, 41, about the package. "Mark your calendars.”

Amid the de rigeur brio, chest thumping and promises of "it" being brought, there's one ominous note in the release that threatens to undermine the whole nostalgic enterprise, and it comes from Nick Lachey. "Looking forward to playing our hits and trying out some of our new tracks too,” he said. Nick: No new stuff. Stick to the hits, (**Googles 'Wiki 98 Degrees'**) the "Thank God I Found You"s and the "Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)"s. Let your fans relive those halcyon, "Total Request Live" summers without having to confront the passage of time and the visible burdens of celebrity and new material.

That's what Carson Daly is for.

Alex Baldinger is editor of the Going Out Guide blog, which covers food, drink, arts, music, events and other curiosities in the D.C. area. He is forever in search of a great sandwich.
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Fritz Hahn | January 22, 2013