In what could only be called a monument to collegiate grunt work everywhere, the good interns of In the Capital have compiled a spreadsheet of D.C.'s happy hours -- some 528 of them. Of course, as the blog’s Molly Greenberg notes, most of this information is around the interwebs already. Reddit users have long compiled a happy hour list, and (ahem) the Post also maintains this pulse-quickening list of bar and club options. But the cool thing about spreadsheets is that we can analyze them, which is how we’re coming up with this list of six fascinating and potentially useful insights on happy hour in D.C.
1) Tuesday is the best day for post-work drinks in the District. One hundred bars have solid Tuesday happy hours, versus 94 on Monday, 85 on Wednesday and fewer than 30 on the weekend. If you must get a Saturday drink, GOG favorite DGS Delicatessen or the new Ghibellina are the places to do it: Ghibellina serves $6 cocktails, $3-$4 draft beers and $5 wines from 5 to 6:30 p.m., while DGS offers beer, wine, cocktails and $4-$6 “noshes” until 7 p.m.
2) Miller Lite is by far D.C.’s most popular happy hour beer. (Or at least the most widely available, which admittedly isn't quite the same thing). Bud and Yuengling are also popular. Local beers are not, but Duffy’s late-night happy hour features D.C. Brau for $5.
3) You should never pay more than $2 for a taco during happy hour. And though $2 is the most common price, even that is pushing it: Lucky Bar and Tonic both vend their happy hour versions for 50 cents.
4) The District’s longest happy “hour” actually lasts five. Four bars -- Mr. Smith’s, Lima, Mackey’s and the Pour House -- serve discounted drinks from 4 until 9 p.m. Vinoteca and Rhino Bar also serve until 9 p.m., although they start at 5 p.m. And for planning purposes, happy hours overwhelmingly begin at 4 and end at 7 p.m.
5) D.C.’s happiest neighborhood is Dupont Circle. You can find at least two dozen happy hour specials there almost every night of the week.
6) … and its snobbiest happy hour is Poste Brasserie. Just kidding, it’s probably lovely. Of 528 happy hours, however, Poste's is the only one with truffles. (“Truffled frites" -- not fries! -- run $5). There are, however, at least 11 bars where you can drink sparkling wine and 24 where you can eat those ever-trendy “small plates.” The vast majority of D.C. bars still brand their happy hour snacks as lowbrow “appetizers.”
You can see In the Capital’s full spreadsheet here. (And let us know if you spot any other trends in the comments.) In the meantime, if you ever meet an In the Capital intern, you should offer him or her a drink.
Speaking of, you might also like The Post's intern-friendly guide to D.C. happy hours.