Seasonal Affective Disorder has progressed to abject misery, then despair, and here we are now, at flat-out denial the day before a major snowstorm. But seriously: screw this. I'm skipping straight to summer. I cannot endure another round of teeth-chattering wind or ankle-deep snow or the grime of salt coating all of my shoes. Here are the foods that make me think of warmer climes and better days, and where you can get them, right now, to be transported to mid-July even as a storm whistles outside.
Corn dogs: This little bit of childhood on a stick will bring you right back to humid nights at state fairs and amusement parks. They're on the menu at the newly opened Roofers Union, but with a grown-up twist: The andouille sausage corn dog comes with a homemade cheddar whiz.
Slushitos: These icy cocktails from Estadio might come in wintry seasonal flavors, like cranberry and anise, but that doesn't change their nature: It's an upscale Slushie, the ideal refreshment on a hot summer's day. Slurp it through your straw and think poolside thoughts.
Corn on the cob: This cookout favorite can be found on the menu of the super-summery El Rey, where $6 gets you a whole ear of corn slathered in cotija cheese, crema and spices. Bonus: You can drink on a patio in the winter and not feel cold, thanks to a small arsenal of heaters.
Popsicles: There are probably more people hanging out at Pleasant Pops for the coffee and sandwiches in colder months. But that doesn't mean they stop making popsicles: Winter flavors include cookies and cream, hibiscus and sweet cream and corn.
Ice cream sundaes: Wintry takes on the summer staple have popped up on the menu at three new restaurants. At Alba Osteria, try the Sputnik-like Coppa di Torino with hazelnut gelato and meringue. Over at Roofers Union, a hot fudge sundae is topped with pretzel brittle. And at Menu MBK, a trio of frozen treats represent a play on movie theater snacks: There's popcorn ice cream, nougat ice cream and cola sorbet, topped with peanut brittle.
Hot dogs: Since it's not warm enough to sit in a park with a hot dog from a street vendor, head to Ivy and Coney, where your hot dog comes Chicago style, "dragged through the garden" with onions, relish, tomato and the all-important sport pepper, or Detroit style, with chili, onions and mustard.
Burgers: There are many places to get a good burger -- we devoted a cover to it in August -- but for me, summer means Shake Shack at Nats Park. You can have one of those things right now. The other will have to wait until April 4.
Key lime pie: The towering slices of this tart summer dessert are served very cold at Joe's Stone Crab, where the extra chill puts it a half-step in between pie and ice cream cake.
Lobster roll: Think of waves lapping against a harbor, even if you're eating a lobster roll in the less-breezy confines of Hank's Oyster Bar, City Tap House, or Luke's Lobster, all of which have the crustacean classic on the menu right now.