And now. . . the winners in the Loop Contest to help the Pentagon figure out where to put the House-passed East Coast missile defense system — should the Senate also approve it.
There have been many excellent entries from around the country on where to put the interceptors to protect us from hypothetical missiles from Iran and North Korea — although the generals say they don’t really need the system.
Without further ado, the winners:
* “Locate one near Fenway Park to protect it from Iran, North Korea and the Yankees.” — John Modler, a retired federal employee and prior contest winner from Catonsville, Md. (After last weekend, Nationals Park also could use some protection from the Yankees.)
* “Accident, Md. and Pork Barrel Pond, Mass.” — Zachary M. Hosford, a think tank research associate at the Center for a New American Security.
* “How about building a base to protect the Smithfield, Va.,” the Ham Capital of the world. “Call it ‘pork’ for pork’s sake.” — Harry Meem, a retired copy editor for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
* “The Jersey Shore to protect Snookie, the Hamptons to protect the banksters.” — Leslie Beil, a writer and hot-glass artist in Alexandria.
* FedEx Field in Landover and another battery near Redskins Park to protect the “strategic brain trust of the organization and the talented players.” — Wesley Davis, a retired fire captain from Prince Georges County now living in Conway, S.C.
* “How about Syria, Va.? That way, if the Iranians launch a missile at us, we can say we had the good people of Syria shoot it down for us.” — Doug Williamson, an international wildlife trade consultant and prior contest winner from, naturally, Syria, Va.
* “Capitol Hill — or at least around the House side,” so when the “non-existent” missiles are fired, “the interceptors that don’t work can protect” them. — Barry Blechman, who works at the Stimson Center, a foreign policy think tank.
The West Coast already has a system and is thus invulnerable to attack, so we asked for East Coast sites, but we’ll include this one.
* Cable TV viewers “know there is one place that is attacked over and over again by Iranians, Soviets, North Koreans and assorted aliens from outer space — Hollywood.” — James F. Schumaker, a retired foreign service officer and prior winner who, wouldn’t you know, lives about 30 miles away in San Clemente, Calif.
Congratulations to the winners, T-shirts headed your way, and thanks to all for entering.