White House petition seeks Death Star construction


(Associated Press)

Savvy politicians know there’s much to be gained by giving the people what they want. And at least some Americans want... a Star Wars-style Death Star.

A petition posted to the White House Web site — the administration created a forum that allows people to post petitions and promises a response to those that garner more than 25,000 digital signatures — is seeking the construction of a Death Star by 2016.

Forget sequestration! Let’s build a moon-sized space station that the evil Darth Vader would love! The Death Star, “Star Wars” fans will recall, was the bad guys’ big gun capable of blowing entire planets into oblivion (sorry, Princess Leia) with a laser.

“By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense,” the petition reads.

Never mind the bit about such things only existing “a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” If we do end up building one, we should beware and do a bit better on the security front than the Galactic Empire did: remember, scrappy band s of rebels actually managed to destroy the Death Star pretty handily — three times*. (UPDATE: I’m changing this to twice, thanks to feedback from Star Wars aficionados, who tell me the third Death Star isn’t a part of the accepted “canon” — thanks, and may the force be with you, Loop fans!)

The petition has gotten 495 signatures as of 11:25 a.m Monday.

Emily Heil is the co-author of the Reliable Source and previously helped pen the In the Loop column with Al Kamen.

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