Intern sought for Republican congressman: ‘Vapid granolas’ need not apply


Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Tex.) at the 2013 Conservative Political Action Conference at the Gaylord National Hotel in National Harbor, Md. (Gage Skidmore)

Want to help outgoing Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Tex.) stick it to House leadership for his final months in Congress?

The conservative firebrand is seeking unpaid interns this fall, but he has very specific criteria to receive the honor of sharing office space with “the House’s most unique and courageous conservative.”

Stockman will measure your worth on ideology, patriotism and ability “to count up to 17 in trillions.” And if you see House Speaker John Boehner in the halls, pretend like you don’t even recognize him. Stockman doesn’t want some GOP fanboy sucking up to leadership. “Mushy pleasers/appeasers keep walkin’,” says the job posting, which includes an e-mail address for Stockman’s intern coordinator.

Still confused about the qualifications? The ad posted on the GOP Job Bank Web site last week under the ambiguous Texas Representative” makes crystal clear who should not be applying for this short-term assignment:

“HINT: vapid granolas who fear guns, hate babies, are ashamed of America, and think Islamic terrorists and illegal aliens are just misunderstood will not be comfortable here.”

Stockman lost in the Texas Senate primary against Sen. John Cornyn in March, giving up his House seat in the process. But for a few more months (and about two weeks of actual legislative “work”), some lucky kids can work with a member described by staff as “not a jerk.” (House leadership may disagree.) And he doesn’t hate interns either, like so many of those grumpy congressmen. He “loves them and actually speaks to them.” (!)

So if you want to help Stockman block Boehner and Co. a few more times for posterity (and help pack boxes), just send the office some “personal materials” and make your case.

And if you are picked to join Stockman’s fall intern class, you might get to star in a YouTube video proclaiming your conservative creds on a dry erase board:

(h/t Roll Call)

Colby Itkowitz is a national reporter for In The Loop.
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