Respect religious convictions in gay marriage debates

A bill legalizing same-sex marriage for couples in New York State is at a standstill over the issue of exemptions for religious organizations and individuals. The reach of these religious protections is wide-ranging -from whether Catholic adoption agencies may reject same-sex couples, to the right of religious caterers to refuse services for gay weddings. In New York State’s Marriage Equality Act, should there be exemptions for religion? What should happen when equal rights for gay citizens and the right to religious free exercise clash?

What should happen? People should respect the deeply held convictions of their neighbors and not try to leverage their majority status to bring the powers of the state to bear on practices they find morally unacceptable. This should have been the approach of religious conservatives all along, and the people trying to pass legislation forbidding gay marriage in one state are in no position to complain about people trying to pass legislation limiting their freedom in another state.

Where might we be today if decades ago, religious conservatives and gay activists had agreed to respect each other’s convictions, to abstain from using the power of the state to impinge upon each other’s freedoms? How much money has been wasted litigating adoption that could have been spent facilitating it? How many salvos could religious conservatives have fired against infidelity if they had kept their powder dry on gay marriage?

What should happen, though, is not always what will happen -- especially when political hackles get raised. But I expect that the broad protections of the First Amendment will curtail any excess legislative enthusiasm on the part of anti-religious activists in the event the political process doesn’t. If not, I’ll be first in line to go to jail for refusing to perform a same-sex wedding. I think people should be able to get them, but that they shouldn’t force somebody else to violate the dictates of their faith (or their conscience) to make that happen.

If a photographer, caterer, DJ, florist or officiant doesn’t want to do your wedding, the civilized thing is to say thank you and move on to somebody who will. Pick up any bridal magazine and you’ll find there’s no shortage of vendors who will be happy to take your money. To take somebody to court in order to force them to violate their scruples, however much those scruples may offend you, is to be a bad neighbor and a lousy American.

Jason Poling  | Jun 22, 2011 10:27 AM