Lifestyle

  A sad thing happened at my son’s baseball game a few weeks ago. Picture this: A 13-year-old boy strikes out at bat. As he walks off the field you can tell by his drooping posture that he is upset. From my metal seat in the bleachers, my heart aches as I watch tears start to spillover.

Would you let your son cry during a tough game? (Michael Williamson - THE WASHINGTON POST) As he trudges towards the dugout a short, shrill sounding, “No!” comes from the crowd. His mother gives him a stern glare and what I assume is a silent warning. He catches her eye and responds to her clear direction. His shoulders straighten up. The emotion welling up behind his lashes are blinked away, and he stands alone in the dugout.

There would be no tears during this game.

I was shaken. This child was learning that he’d better hide his emotions because big boys don’t cry. This is not a judgment against a well-meaning mom who has obviously absorbed this strong cultural message. Rather, it is a plea to parents to wonder if it is right to assume teenage boys should stop expressing their strong feelings.

The first note read: “SAFETY ALERT — Suspicious man in area parks”.

How could a parent not read what followed?

“A suspicious man has been found watching children in local parks, including Rose Park. ... For now please be on the lookout, call the police if needed, and be extra extra safe,” said the message posted in a Georgetown parenting e-mail exchange.

The warning, along with a blurry photo taken at a distance showing a tall, thin, white man with close-cropped hair sitting on a park bench at the playground, sipping from a coffee cup, was forwarded to other neighborhood e-mail groups. From there, it was forwarded to school e-mail groups and parents’ inboxes throughout Northwest D.C. this week.

Follow-ups followed. A nanny said she may have spotted the man at an Adams Morgan playground. Others might have seen him a while back at National Cathedral's Flower Mart, where he allegedly approached children offering tutoring services. Words like “creepy” and “dangerous” have accompanied the notes.

“I’ve received numerous inquires regarding a suspicious person looking at children in local parks,” Metropolitan Police Department Det. Neil Jones wrote to me when I e-mailed him about the concerns.

He said police are interested in identifying the man but, he wrote, “no crime has been committed at this time — all we have is an individual sitting on a public park bench at Rose Park drinking coffee. There is no evidence of this individual approaching any children.”

The mini panic doesn’t say much about whether this man is an actual threat. But it does say much about modern parenting and about our relentless anxiety.

To my delight, there has been a lot of talk about sugar these days, including its toxic effects and addictive qualities. But if we are going to discuss toxic effects and addictive qualities, we should also address caffeine.

Caffeine is a drug. As with most drugs, individuals who consume caffeine build up a tolerance for it, feeling the negative effects less and less even as they consume more and more. A body addicted to caffeine will most likely go through a withdrawal period.
(Stephen Krow)

You might think children aren’t consuming a lot of caffeine, or at least not as much as their Starbucks-toting parents. In a 2010 study published in the Journal of Pediatrics, 75 percent of children surveyed consumed caffeine on a daily basis, and the more caffeine the children consumed, the less they slept. The American Association of Poison Control Centers has reported roughly 1,200 cases a year of caffeine toxicity in children younger than age 6!

As more and more of my sons’ friends regularly get Frappuccinos with their dads on Saturdays, bring energy drinks to their sports games or order soda every time they go out to dinner, my boys are curious. They want to know why we don’t have those items in our fridge and why I don’t think it is a smart idea for them to boost their energy with caffeine.

This is what I told them:

Attitudes toward gay marriage are changing fast. This week’s Washington Post-ABC News poll shows support at an all-time high and that comes, of course, just after the president announced his own support.

Surely the news might affect gay couples who want to become parents, no?

I called Catherine Tuerk, a longtime activist in D.C.’s gay advocacy community to ask if the top-level acknowledgment and public backing would empower more gay couples to adopt and have children.

I thought she would have insight on the issue because the former president of the D.C. chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is poised to publish a book on her thoughts about the changing landscape for gay advocacy, “Mom Knows: Reflections on Love, Gay Pride, and Taking Action.”

I was right, and I was wrong.

Right that Tuerk would have an interesting perspective. But wrong on my premise.

From left, Daniel Gri with children Caleb and Alfred Gri-Abbott, and husband James Abbott say a prayer before dinner at their home in Oakton. (Nikki Kahn - THE WASHINGTON POST) It’s not that public perceptions are empowering gay parents, she said, it’s the other way around.

“Gay parenting has normalized the idea of gay marriage,” Tuerk said.

“That parenting piece helps people understand that this is not about sex — God knows, you don’t have kids if you want to have sex. It’s about love. Sex is a part of love, but it’s not all of it.”

The weather has turned warm, a long weekend awaits and I can’t help but fantasize about exotic summer travel.

Those fantasies do not include airports.

The logistics and cost of air travel can be the worst part of a family trip. And, this summer, traveling with children is looking to be even more expensive and hassle-filled.

The Associated Press is reporting that base fares are expected to average $431 this summer or 3 percent higher than last year. That doesn’t count the likelihood of extra fees, including new ones that may be essential for families to pay.

(Associated Press) First, more and more airlines are allowing passengers to pay extra to reserve certain seats. These tend to be seats with more legroom or on the aisle or by the window.

That means on a crowded flight, a family might have the choice of sitting railroad style in a series of middle seats, or pay extra — in the range of $25 per seat, one way — for the luxury of sitting beside one another.