A busy mother struggles to be a good wife

From elsewhere in The Post: A working mother of two children younger than 3 asks advice columnist Marguerite Kelly how to be less short-tempered and unpleasant with her husband.

“We spend weeknights and weekends bickering, arguing and being unhappy, and I think it’s mostly my fault. My temper is short and my children usually drain my patience, leaving none for my husband,” she says.

Kelly recognizes the demands of parenting a 2-year-old and an 11-month-old and encourages this mom not to beat herself up. She suggests the mother schedule some time to breathe during her busy days.

“You need a respite. Can you cut back on your hours at work? Can you work longer hours for three or four days and then be off for the rest of the week? Or can you quit your job until the baby is in pre-K? If not, can you hire a housekeeper for one day a week? Clean laundry, clean sheets and clean floors should improve your mood but you still need to ask your husband out to dinner or for a long walk one night a week and without feeling guilty about it. He married you, not the children,” Kelly says.

The columnist also tells the mother to steal some time away with her husband once a season and to consider doing yoga as another way to de-stress. If none of these work, Kelly says, visiting a marriage counselor may help the mother and her husband reconnect.

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