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On Parenting
Posted at 11:15 AM ET, 10/06/2011

Carolyn Hax: Helping a child adjust to dad’s new partner

From elsewhere in The Post: When a widowed parent decides to remarry, children involved must adjust to a new family. As one child writes to advice columnist Carolyn Hax, this adjustment can be painful.

“My mom passed away suddenly in November. My parents had been married for 40 years. My dad started dating two months after her passing and just got engaged. I have met his fiancee three times total, and they have been together for about six weeks.

Is it okay that I am not thrilled about this?”

Hax explains that everyone grieves differently and discourages criticizing the father or his fiancee. Instead, she suggests, this child should “Articulate what you’re asking of him, and ask for realistic things. Insisting he break up or keep this woman out of your family, for example, forces him to take sides, your wants vs. his. Instead, request some time to adjust; that lets both sides coexist.”

Carolyn Hax will host her weekly Web chat tomorrow at noon. Submit questions now.

By On Parenting  |  11:15 AM ET, 10/06/2011

Tags:  Carolyn Hax, dating after a spouse dies

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