Rep. Allen West (R) sent Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D) a scorching email Tuesday after his fellow Floridian criticized his support of Medicare cuts on the House floor. Nasty, yes — but what bold 19th century prose! Can you tell which rich disses were penned by the Tea Party freshman, and which by the great ladies of Bonnet Fiction?
1. “From this time forward, understand that I shall defend myself forthright against your heinous characterless behavior.”
2. “Your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike.”
3. “I am glad you are no relation of mine. . . the very thought of you makes me sick.”
4. “You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member.”
5. “If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face.”
6. “You are welcome to torture me to death for your amusement, only allow me to amuse myself a little in the same style, and refrain from insult as much as you are able.”
7. “From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country.”
8. “You have proven repeatedly that you are not a Lady, therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!”
9. [In closing]: “Most fervent, most undeviating. . . ”
10. [In closing]:“Steadfast and Loyal. . . ”
1. West. 2. Jane Austen, “Pride and Prejudice.” 3. Charlotte Bronte, “Jane Eyre.” 4. West. 5. West. 6. Emily Bronte, “Wuthering Heights.” 7. “Pride and Prejudice.” 8. West. 9. Austen, “Persuasion.” 10. West.
Read earlier: 2Chambers: Rep. Allen West rants against Wasserman Schultz in personal e-mail, 7/19/11