“The greatest impersonation he does is that of a normal person.” — Elisabeth Moss on SNL star and ex-husband Fred Armisen.
“His hair will turn gray, like Jay Leno’s.” — Rod Blagojevich’s barber on his future in prison.
“I have no talent. I have nothing to offer.” — Playmate-turned-reality star Kendra Wilkinson.
“It doesn’t appear to be somewhere I’m actually wanted or respected.” — Axl Rose refusing his Hall of Fame induction.
“He is a jackass. But he’s talented.” — President Obama on Kanye West.
“The heavyweight champion of my life.” — Mitt Romney introducing his wife Ann.
“Well, I wasn’t trained.” — Ryan O’Neal on his lousy parenting skills.
“Ooh, Papa’s gained a little weight!” — Martin Short to a man he thought was a friend but turned out to be David Axelrod.
“Happy father’s day — or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law’s day. ” — Woody and Mia’s kid Ronan Farrow on Twitter.
“We have a black Muslim in the White House, okay?” — Madonna’s ironic shout-out to President Obama during a Verizon Center show.
“Kinda like my dating life.” — Wendy Rieger on the ups and downs of Hurricane Sandy.