Palestinian Authority chief Mahmoud Abbas is delighted, announcing that he has his state. Right Turn has discovered the super-top-secret letter that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu sent to him. I couldn't verify it, but it sure sounds like something Bibi would say.
Mazel tov! You have a state. I would send a personalized gift, but what do you buy a man who has millions tucked away in European banks!? I've been busy dealing with the Iranian nuclear threat, which of course is a material threat to your people, too, since nuking Jerusalem is effectively the same as nuking Ramallah. So I look forward to working together on that one.
But anyhoo, I must have missed it, your election notice, that is. You are having elections right? I mean, if they have them in Egypt and Iraq, you don't want to be left out or goodness gracious wind up like our old friend Hosni with that meshugenah Morsi ( You're on trial, you're on trial again! Enough already.)
In the meantime, now that you are a state, I am sure that you will co-sign my letter to the United Nations explaining that UNRWA can be shut down. New state, so no refugees! Besides they've been playing favorites with Hamas for years.
One more thing. Since you've got your state, there is no need for a BDS movement -- it worked! So feel free to give the phony NGOs and European busybodies the signal to shove off.
Oh, one last thing. I know it would be demeaning and all for a state like yours to be on our electric grid. So consider this your 90-day termination notice. But my friends in D.C. tell me there is this great company, Pepco, that can meet all your needs. Best of luck!
P.S. You want to tell Obama to stop hocking us about peace talks, or should I? Jeez, to quote a great leader, "You've had it with him, but I have to deal with him every day."