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Right Turn
Posted at 05:30 PM ET, 09/22/2011

What would Chris Christie be doing?

A vignette:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie lives in Medham Township (not the official governor’s residence) with his wife, Mary Pat, and their four kids. You can imagine that like many Americans he will come home from work, have dinner and sit down with his spouse to watch the Republican debate. As many of us do, you can imagine him screaming at the TV set as the frustration mounts. What would he holler at each of them?

To Mitt Romney: “Fifty-nine, you came up with 59 job proposals?! Is that some focus-group-tested figure? Listen, Mitt, you want jobs? You throw Obama out, you keep taxes low, you stare down the Dems on entitlements and get out of the face of businesses. And you gotta tell the unions who’s boss. They own the schoolyard or you do.”

To Texas Gov. Rick Perry: “You’re living in a mansion that costs the taxpayers how much? Did I hear that right?! I’m living in Medham with four kids while you’re spending five figures every month on the Texas taxpayers’ dime? If you’re a Tea Partyer, I’m a ballet dancer.”

To Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.): “How did you get your job? No, really. You think this is about saying stuff. What about doing stuff? You’re going to be judged by what you did, not what you said you were against.”

To Rick Santorum: “I feel for you, my friend. They never listen to the guy making sense.”

To Jon Huntsman: “Wait. Just stop. You worked for Obama? Get outta there!”

To New Gingrich: “Man, if I screwed up in office that bad, I wouldn’t have the nerve to run for dogcatcher.”

To: Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.): “You’re **5#!* nuts, man!”

To Gary Johnson: “Who are you?”

Christie would then turn and say, “Mary Pat, this is sort of embarrassing.” Mary Pat would answer: “You think you could do any better?” Before he could answer, one of his kids would yell out, “Dad, it’s that Mr. Kristol on the phone again. He says he’s coming over here if you don’t talk to him.”

Right Turn will be back with post-date analysis.

By  |  05:30 PM ET, 09/22/2011

Categories:  2012 campaign

 
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