Bobby Boswell, unplugged

(D.C. United photo)
Bobby Boswell (D.C. United photo)

The following exchange began with D.C. United captain and in-house goofball Bobby Boswell popping his head into RFK Stadium’s media room after practice and playfully noting the job of newspaper reporter is next-to-last on the list of best jobs in America.

I pointed out that’s an upgrade from last year’s last-place finish. (We’ve overtaken the lumberjacks!)

From there …

Little chilly at training today, Bobby?

“Another day in the life. Anyone that says climate change isn’t a real issue should join D.C. United’s staff and try to plan practices around snow and sleet. It seems like every Tuesday there is a new weather pattern.”

Where does meteorologist stand on that list of best/worst jobs?

“I think it’s probably right next to psychic and fortune teller or stockbroker because I think they are all full of it. They just say whatever they want and it’s like, ‘Oh, I was wrong last week and the week before, but trust me, today is going to be nice.’ As a fisherman, you plan your day around what the weatherman says. He says, ‘Yeah, it’s going to be bad today, you shouldn’t go.’ And then you read the fishing reports and it’s like, ‘Today was the most epic, glorious day ever.’ And then [the weatherman] will say it will be great next week, and you go and it rains the whole time. I’ve had my moments with those guys; they think I’m an idiot.”

So you’ve got a few bones to pick?

“No, I just think if tomorrow you need to get a new job, if you just feel like rolling the dice, just be a meteorologist because there is no accountability, it seems, at all. It’s like a stockbroker, who is like, ‘Awww, who knew the market was going to do that?’ You do the same with the weather. They still get paid.”

Kind of like an MLS referee, right?

“Now THAT I am not at liberty to speak about. There are some repercussions coming from [any] comment versus I don’t think too many stockbrokers are going to be banging my door down.”

What about MLS referee on the list of worst jobs …

“I think those guys are masochists. Both teams think you are doing terrible and the fans seem to hate you. Years ago, they offered a program where they wanted former players to enroll in it, maybe see if they wanted to become refs. In the three years they did it, like one player showed interest. It shows it’s not a job they want to do.”

Who was the player?

Former MLS defender “Brandon Prideaux. He’ll deny that, but I am willing to bet. It was definitely Brandon.”

Some NBA players have become NBA referees …

“That job is different because they need to be big. I don’t think people realize how big NBA referees are. They need to be big dudes. If not, they would be dwarfed and yelled at. I don’t know how an NBA player feels about the NBA refs. I definitely feel they affect the games the same, if not more, than an MLS ref would. But they have three of them and they do video evidence now, right?

“I’m happy they do the review in baseball. I think that’s a good thing. People complain it’s slow, but the game was already kind of slow.”

A few minutes later, Coach Ben Olsen dropped by.

I told him that Boswell had just covered a vast array of topics.

“So he probably only stayed for five minutes then, right? [laughter] He could talk a dog off a meat truck, that guy.”

Steven Goff is The Post’s soccer writer. His beats include D.C. United, MLS and the international game, as well as local college basketball.
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